Pollyana Cowgirl

bye bye Singapore

2007-06-26T23:29:00.000+08:00

bye bye Singapore...
hello Jakarta...

-Luke-

2007-06-21T23:18:00.000+08:00

I have been updating my blog rather haphazardly the past couple of weeks as my sole intention is to bridge the geographical gap between friends and family members. Sometimes it seems almost strange how despite the distance and time spent apart, people can remain uncannily connected and never change.

Change is often deemed as a positive. In fact, perhaps the word itself has its own imposed connotations... and I often fall into the trap of rating it as such, but today I was reminded of how perhaps, change- or rather the lack of it- has been sadly undermined.

Luke and I have been friends since we were 13 years old but we only became close during our college years and the friendship has blossomed ever since. Sometimes I wonder what it is that has kept us together for almost 10 years...simple, plain old chemistry. Friends need chemistry too. The innate ability to read each other's minds, to finish our sentences, to give a look and know that it is understood, to be utterly frank and brutally honest. Luke has gone the distance with me. He has seen me through my phases and boyfriends, from clubbing to just rambling on the phone... he stuck with me as I traversed through Japan and Jakarta.

We met again today, it has been almost 6 months since we last saw each other. The moment our eyes met, we broke into peals of laughter and I knew I was in good hands. We bantered and updated each other about the most momentous events of the past months, and much sooner than I expected, he began to read my mind. And, I began to tell him stuff that I have been dying to share and which I have been keeping inside the crevices of my heart for months. It was like verbal diarrhoea, I mean an actual catharsis.

Luke listened, smiled knowingly and said things that my heart felt. He asked questions that I dare not think about because that meant I had to face up to reality. Today, I let it all out, and he took it all in.

I have always found it hard to make new friends. I am the type of person who has only a handful of treasured friends, and they are all I need for my lifetime. Indeed, the word friend is to me a word that has lost its meaning, like how love is now used nondescriptly.

Luke makes me realise how much I have changed because we still laugh about the hideous pair of blue track shoes I used to wear in college and many other fashion faux pas. He made me realise how I have not changed at all when he asked innocently 'Are you still clumsy? In front of your Prince?'. He knows. And he knows how to subtly reveal to me what I want but hesistate to say, what I fear but refuse to admit and what I love but am too scared to reveal.

You are in my eyes, so good looking, so cute, eloquent, articulate... a true fashionista and member of the cool club clan. You epitomise the modern man who is well travelled and well read, a true cultured diva who takes good care of himself. A friend who makes me laugh out loud, a confidante who dishes out advice for my world weary soul and a soulmate who truly understands.

Luke, for all the above... Its been almost a decade of bitching... why stop now?

For the Rastafarian top you made me buy, for the ridiculous outfit you convinced me to tog myself in when I made my first trip to Japan, for convincing me that I need to buy more bags and wear higher heels, for making me understand what is sexy and not, for giving me insights into the male's psyche, for asking about my family everything you see me... and finally... for having the courage to follow your heart and deride all that pompous societal values.

Luke, you are my man.
And I love you so much for you.

**I would like to state for the record that you promised me today that you will visit me in Jakarta and we will go wild and 'paint the town purple'. I will be waiting.**

Shopper's Paradise

2007-06-20T22:40:00.000+08:00

Shopping.

I have been conclusively consumed by clothes, bags and shoes. I can not get enough of the CBS. I even need an acronym for them.

That said, it is so satisfying to spend an entire day doing nothing but shop. Mal and I started the day with a hearty lunch for fuel and to strategise our assualt. We had to comb the most number of stores in 7 hours as we aimed to complete the divide and conquer plan by 7pm as we had to meet the parents for dinner.

The plan was to ambush our favourite stores first before the 'enemy' (other shoppers) invaded the territory. Since most of the stores only carried one piece for each style of clothing, we had to be there first, such is the devotion to our cult brands. We had to get our hands on them!

7 hours later, with only one pit-stop of 30 minutes to grab a drink and toilet-break... we were aching, our feet were sore (and still are) but... my oh my, the haul was testimony to our winning formula.

Shopping is often mistaken to be a frivolous activity for the female species. I beg to differ. There was so much bonding between Mal and me today. I am a predominantly solo-shopper, I hate to go shopping with anyone except Luke, Siyao, Mal and Mum. Luke for his exquisite taste and fashion forward sense... with an eye for details, Luke's taste, I trust blindfolded. Siyao for her unbashedly frank opinions that are more candid than anything else.. it is just fun listening to her criticisms, plus, we are always checking out the people around us more than the clothes. But, Mal and Mum... I love shopping with them. Mal is patient, and we never fail to spot great finds while Mum gives great fashion advice.

Today was especially fun because Mal and I kept trying more and more and more clothes and shoes... it was crazy! We looked ridiculous in some of them while some were downright outrageous. It was like playing dress-up! The total damage for the day.. dare I even elaborate.

More shoes, bags, clothes and accessories. I burst my quota. Too bad... I had fun!

Thans Mal for today! It was crazy!

What I Miss About Jakarta

2007-06-17T19:04:00.000+08:00

While waiting for dinner to be prepared... yes, another gorging session, I will now do up a list and I will be entirely honest. I do not lie on Sundays too.

MY TOP TEN LIST ABOUT WHAT I MISS MOST ABOUT JAKARTA

10) Watching Oprah Winfrey at 10am on Sunday morning
9) Scanning the 'What-to-do' section of the Jakarta Post
8) Having my laundry washed and ironed for me without any effort on my part
7) My bed (In terms of comfort and size, both beds in Jkt and Spore are held to a tie. But, I like the smell of my bed in Jkt that much more. )
6) Bonk. Smoke. Vice.
5) Trying to figure out what each pushcart by the road actually sells
4) Prince Charming
3) Friendly people (Gosh, I see more people smiling, making eye contact and people are generally more human in Jakarta.)
2) Traffic jams (Well, traffic jams when Prince Charming and I are stuck in it together. It is a good time to ask for favours or to cajole him to do basically ANYTHING. When stuck in a jam and with 80% of his brain focused on traffic... he says yes to anything.)
1) Cheap fruits

How innane. Next up, another list. Time is in my hands....

Sunday Sojourn

2007-06-17T18:37:00.000+08:00

Waking up to the sounds of my parents tucking into their breakfast and discussing the news in the morning paper, I roused from my sleep, slowly. There was no rush, no need to moan about the absence of breakfast like I always do when I am in Jakarta. At home, there will always be a breakfast spread, a stocked refrigerator, nags of concern and plenty of love.

It is the second Sunday since coming home to Singapore after having spent more than 5 months in Jakarta, and I feel so loved, so safe... it almost feels like I can face the world with careless abandon. This is what having a family close by is all about. Even the little things like sitting in the car with my father driving, milling around in the kitchen when mummy is cooking or just waking Mal up in the morning... they mean so much.

Having just called Prince Charming, I was reminded about how much I miss Jakarta too. Well, him especially. The cute lith in his accent, the goofy laughter, the silly little things he says to crack me up... the little things. After I ended the conversation, I thought about the little things that I remember about the people that are in my life or have walked a part of my life with me at some point or another. I realised I remember them pretty darn well...

With time on my side, I have so much time to think, make resolutions (despite it being the middle of the year), forgive and forget, sleep (haha) and I have been thinking about the plans for my future too. Time flies, half a year in Jakarta and another year to go till the end of my stint. I guess it is never too early to think about what I want to do since most of my plans require a fair bit of research and groundwork before they can be successfully executed. There are so many things that I know I can do and I want to do. There are also so many things that I hope to do and like always, a little prayer... a little seeking and a little knowing, things will go the way they should.

This is what Sundays do to me. I feel that there is no point in excessive worrying about what lies ahead, instead, I just want to take a deep breath, sit back and simply enjoy the moments of my life. With the people I love.

People, life, time... transient...
Perhaps this is my Sunday evening retrospective moment... I get all fuzzy on Sundays. I rarely lose my temper, get annoyed or panic. Instead, I am calm, thoughtful and at peace. Reach out to me on a Sunday, it is the best time.

Zonked

2007-06-15T16:02:00.000+08:00

The nightmare is beginning...

Too much to eat, too much to drink, too much gossip, too much indulging, and way way way too much shopping.

I knew this would happen. everywhere... there would be something I want to eat!

I already satisfied the Teochew porridge, dim sum, or-ni (yam paste Teochew desert), Japanese Taiyaki (BLOODY DELICIOUS!!!), ang ku kueh, ming chiang kueh, Mummy`s cooking... cravings.

The gossiping is only beginning. All the updates about everything and everyone one is just insane! I am relishing all the scandalous details.. just bring it on gurls! More to come next week!

Indulging... I am indulging in everything. Believe it or not, I have been sleeping till 10am everyday since I came back on Saturday! In Jakarta, I would usually be roused at 730am despite sleeping at 2am... but back home, my comfy bed... the much cleaner air and the silence in the morning have all but cured my dark eye circles.

Shopping... I can not even start. I forced myself to write down a list of things that I am allowed to purchase.

2 pairs of shoes: I bought 3 pairs (no more!)
2 bags: I bought 1
3 bottoms: I bought 2
3 tops: I bought 2
Accessories: I bought 2 pairs of earrings and 1 necklace
1 bottle of perfume: Yup, just 1

That said, I can still buy a bag, a bottom and a top. It would be vaguely possible if I have only 2 days left in Singapore, but I have more than 10 days left. Perhaps I will still stick to my plan and not wreck my shopping list. There is still some hope.

It is great to be back! Oh yes!

* Oh damn, and I promised Prince Charming I will buy some stuff back for him... yikes. I hope he understands ;)

Slowly... it becomes clearer

2007-06-12T23:09:00.000+08:00

Switched on my lap-top... checked my email...
and i did a double take.

Read the mail...
From a loved one whose dream is finally coming true. He sounds so excited about sharing the piece of fantastic news with me. I feel like I should give him a call immediately to congratulate him... but I feel a lump in my throat. I feel so guilty about not being able to smile and laugh and revel in his moment. I actually feel glad that I am miles away... lest I was closer by... it would have been so contrived on my part.

Oh gosh... I can not even type the words of my thoughts...

He is chasing a dream which I am not a part of. And don't I want to be part of it. I don't know.

.......

Slowly, it becomes clearer
You mean more to everyone than me
Opposites.

.......

Like a shadow, I will always be lurking
Waiting for a sign that says, 'Time`s Up'
Like a frequent customer, my business is always appreciated
But the door stays open, its dollar sense.

.......

I am in the background
Way way in the background
I hang on to the simple words uttered.
But I know... what I feel to you. I can't be anything really more.

.......

I can't even type a stanza. Syntax is all wrong, everything I try to say sounds so dreadful.

*******

Before I wallow in self misery about my own crappy life, an old old friend from across the Causeway just informed me that he is now attached. One of the nicest person with a heart of pure gold and cute as a button. Martin Marty Mart, it`s been 10 years since we first met... so, I hereby promise you HERE that as a decade long friend, I will sing at your wedding :p
You are welcome. Good that you are happy *smiles* Stay that way...

Hello Big Sister

2007-06-12T19:13:00.000+08:00

Its HELLO SINGAPORE!!!
I am finally back home to plenty of pampering, catch-ups, gorging of favourite food and shopping! It all seems rather fine and dandy, except for the fact that I now have to fill a pair of shoes I have neglected for the past 5 months, that is of, big sister.

Mummy and Papa call me a few times a week, and Mummy never fails to sms me everyday... so, I guess the only member of the family that requires a little more TLC now that I am back home is Mal, the younger one. Kor-kor... well... he must TLC me right?

So, what is up?
Mal has met a guy and they are currently in the getting to know each other better (GTKEOB) stage, except for a few sore points. Sore points for me... but apparently not for her.

First, the guy just broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months nary a month ago and is very resistant to talk about it.
Second, the guy made his advances (a bit of kiss-and-tell here) nary a month into this entire GTKEOB stage.
Third, he is rather mysterious. Has his moods and stuff.
Fourth, his favourite phrase must be 'let`s go with the flow'.

Now, let me qualify, the above 4 sore points are only sore for me. The younger one seems to relish the pain. Ugh.
I have not met this guy yet, so I am not privvy to pass any valued judgement, but. I am the elder sister, whose main purpose in life is to protect and well... I have been doing quite a good job so far. So, I did what I have to do... and I rendered my advice, F-O-C... gratis.

Some tips of the trade which I passed on to the younger one...

Ask about the ex-girlfriend. WHY NOT? Just go ahead. Especially if she was part of his life a measely month ago! I mean... if they are still in the process of handing each other's belongings and sending the odd SMS at the crack of dawn? Gurl... you ask whatever you need to ask to make YOU feel better and remove YOUR doubts. If the guy is resistant, snoop. Google her name. Friendster. My Space. Look at her, stare at her picture and get over it. Do not even think about how intimate they were or how it was. The point is to just get it out of your system. It works for me. You just need to immerse yourself in the ex moment, and you will be rid of the negative aura. The ex is not your enemy, remember that. You both have something in common if you like the same guy. Face it right on gurl!

Next. If you enjoy the kisses and hand-holding. Good for you! BUT... gurl. You will feel the shit if you realise a few days later that he happens to have a penchant for exchanging bodily fluids with a plethora of other gurls. If you can deal with it or if you are in the tribe that trades in saliva, good. Otherwise, ASK. You do not have to be in a relationship yet, instead if he is genuinely into you, he should have half an ounce of integrity to assure you that your tongue is the only one swirling in his mouth now. In this present moment. Remember, you are not asserting a needy need to be in an exclusive relationship, but, simply put... you do like him don`t you? He needs to know.

Mood swings. I don`t know about you. But, I steer way clear of the moody types. The ambiguous energy is too much for me. It is as if I`m dealing with a Sudoku puzzle whenever I am out with him. Does it add up? However, in this day and age.. whatever rocks your boat. Just remember, when you are PMSing and he is too... both of you are going to be in the red.

Go with the flow. Sure. Like the air around us?
Idiot. People are not molecules so quit talking as if we are. There is no such thing as going with the flow, because in the first place, the currents that position themselves to direct the flow is none other than... yes, the both of you. Be human. Acknowledge that there is still some doubt, some fear... but, the both of you are heading in a similar direction. Another dumb phrase is 'let's wait and see'. FOR? And 'let's take things as they come'. 'Let fate decide'. As in really? Fate?

Life is short. What a cliche, we all know that. Abide by it then!

Now, in case, you... the guy in question is reading this. In which case I seriously doubt you will unless you care about the younger one enough to read her sister`s blog (reverse psychology). I am no love guru. I have had many failed relationships. And I am not very good with guys to start with. But, this is the elder sister in me talking...

Treat her with respect. Like you would your mother or sister.
Put yourself in her shoes.
Taste her tears and feel the whimpering of her heart.
Listen, listen, listen.
And when you think you can start to like her and never desire to change her.
And when you think you can say NO to drugs (and all other temptations... synthetic or earthly with 2 lovely moulds of flesh in the front).
Send me an email... or a note.

I will be happy.

The BEACH holiday

2007-06-05T13:25:00.000+08:00

Pulau Umang....

The island that held my hopes of an idyllic retreat where I can finally savour some fresh air and simply relax. And of course engage in my favourite activities that almost entirely revolve around the beach... swim, sun tan and snorkel.

It was amazing, the island. A tiny outcrop that holds Pulau Umang Resort and Spa and nothing else. It is termed a 'private beach', bought and owned by a proprietor who decided to build his 'dream' on the island.

After a very bumpy drive of about 4 hours, we arrived at the pier and in the distance was the island. The triangular thatched roofs and turqoise waters beckoned... but I thought to myself, stay calm.. stay calm... I think I was almost relieved to see that the promises that the website made were in fact, possibly true?

I guess I really was not sure what to expect... especially after a rather tepid trip to Pantai Carita which was nothing like a beach holiday, nothing really much. Murky waters, persistent hawkers, really boring food and almost zero signs of any underwater life. I thought it is better to under-estimate and not anticipate. After all, this trip was by no way cheap and I was worried that I could not finish my work on time... and boy did I NOT want to be burdened with thoughts of papers that were waiting to be marked.

Pulau Umang was the antidote. We had our own huge beach bungalow that stood 5 steps away from the beach... and I love the bathroom! It was huge and it was so exotic! Pebbled floors, ceramic earthen jars and natural skylight! The resort had plenty of space... to just sit and enjoy an afternoon drink of a coconut... or a satisfying lunch while gazing at the clear waters... It was even more beautiful at night when the entire island was littered with the warm glow of lights... utterly romantic.

It was basically also a pig-out session for me. Dinner especially were oh-la-la affairs... we had dinner on the beach. On the beach, as in... on the sand. I was gushing! We even had a lunch in the 'floating gazebo' with petals of flowers scattered on the floor. Now, one of the reasons we really enjoyed ourselves was because of the guest relations officers who were assigned to look after our every need. They were genuinely friendly, addressing us by our first names and always armed with a huge wide smile. Real people who really wanted to make sure that we had a great time. Even the owner of Pulau Umang, a cordial mafia-looking man, made his rounds and chatted with us... and managed to even cajole or perhaps inspire us to belt out a duet when we were having our post dinner drinks at the lounge.

Now, I am not akin to singing in public. My voice.. uh-huh, not that great. But, he wanted to sing, and I was not going to disappoint... so, yes, Prince Charming and I decided to cap it all off with a rather tuneful rendition of 'My Endless Love'. The works! Damn we were good!

It was fun. I was happy. Snorkelling with my Prince ( the corals were alive and well with fishes minding their own business), waking up to the sound of crashing waves, breathing really good clean air and just talking. It was our quiet time, and it made me happy.

Pulau Umang. Go there before it loses its clear waters, before the corals become mere stones, before the sand becomes soiled and before the stars decide to go...

Pulau Umang

2007-06-05T07:56:00.000+08:00

Pulau Umang Resort No 217

Ferry ride

Retro does it... look away

and look away

and look away...

Letting Sleeping Dogs Lie

2007-05-31T15:45:00.000+08:00

Like a dream...

I am done done done (repetition for effect)
with marking.

Bloody hell... I am done.
Oh man... the pain of reading 8 classes of essays and directed writing! The freaking PAIN!

So, after the drama... comes the reward...
I have a long weekend to look forward too (Happy VESAK Day!)!
To start the wham bang of joy and sheer happiness...
The weekend starts this evening as Prince Charming and myself further our cultural immersion in the form of an avant garde ballet performance by an acclaimed French dance ensemble...
Review will be anticipated, I am sure...

And tomorrow... HELLO... PULAU UMANG!
A private beach... 6 hours drive away from Jakarta plus a 30 mins boat ride!
Oh my... crystal clear waters... snorkelling... tanning... and relaxing! I deserve it!

Before I even forget... I just confirmed my plane ticket for my trip back home!
Thank you Lord!

Enjoy the long weekend! Be back on Sunday!

LOESJE "TIckle the Power"

2007-05-24T07:58:00.000+08:00

THE WORLD IS MORE BEAUTIFUL WITH YOU

I took this photo! Nice composition!

I took this photo! Check out the angle and perspective!

During the long, long weekend, I went to an exhibition "LOESJE: Tickle the Power" at the Erasmus Huis (at the Dutch Embassy). LOESJE is a movement that started in the Netherlands (in the late 1980s) by a group of activists who wanted to use the power of WORDS and HUMOUR to spread messages. Messages of hope, diatribes, implicit and explicit criticisms against governments... basically, anything goes. Here are some of the photos!

Looking at the lovely photos... I think I want to start taking more photos. Create a photo-journal of sorts! Heading off to the library (after ALL the MARKING is done!!!) to borrow a book on photography!

I will post some of the LOESJE messages tomorrow. Left the book about it at home...

Different Realities

2007-05-23T13:35:00.000+08:00

I was trying hard to understand what is meant by the term "different reality". People live in different realities. We were brought up with different values at different places with different people and ultimately face entirely different situations.

My growing up years and this life's experience of mine is nothing less than beautiful. In the true sense of the word, it has been a life that my parents have worked hard to give me, a life that I did nothing much for or earn. It was a given gift. Blessed with a happy family, a comfortable lifestyle, cosy friends and everything else provided for, I grew up in a reality of 'wants' not 'needs'. I had all my needs and only wanted more. And, more often than not, I got the wants without much trouble at all.

Nothing really fazes me because I never had to face dire consequences... somehow, I always manage to get out of messes, get over messes and never really had to pay for the mess. That is my reality.

My reality is devoid of reality. I have trouble when I try to describe my reality to others. Afterall, most of my friends come from a similar reality and I guess this recent toughie occured because I am trying to make my reality a part of his reality and vice versa. I am encountering a whole new reality that I have trouble understanding, I feel foreign, misunderstood and I can hardly understand. Perhaps I don`t want to understand.

How do you try to let someone into your world, when your world never did exist in their world?
How do you try to understand their world, when in the first place you don`t really want to be a part of it?

I am who I am, because of my reality. You too.
I miss having my reality.
I want to be in my world again so badly that I don`t know how to understand yours.

I recognise the symptoms. I want to go home. When I see the faces of those who love me, when I spend time with the people who have always been in my reality and doing the things that make me real.

I try, I will try and I have to try. The question of realities.
But,
when do you know if you have tried hard enough?

Oooo... Splash!

2007-05-22T14:37:00.000+08:00

Like a game of paintball, I realised without much trouble really, that I have been bitched.

Dare I say the word?

Sure will. I am no lexicographer... words often evade me, I use the same words all the time and how else can I explain this phenomenon where a seemingly innocently posed question, jolted me?

Not out of the blue... nah nah. Perhaps I felt orange, green and maybe even pink. Accustomed to the the oft repeated ritual of being bitched, I take it all in my stride.

Splish Splash.
And I realised, I really have been bitched.

I wonder if you noticed that during the attack of the paintballs, all players are sprayed with blobs of colours that only serve to indicate that you, yes you honey, will not be spared.
Vulgar diatribes are no longer my thang, I grew sick of tit-for-tat reflex reactions. Instead, I am now enjoying the crescendo of my career as a bitch. I am no asshole either.

I have since moved on to posting my rants on my blog. How`s that for keeping up with the times? IT savvy? Aye aye... that`s me.

So, in typical Cowgirl fashion I choose not to declare war, instead, I will again ride into the sunset. Just me and my little pony...

The paint will dry up, then you (yes, you out there) will realise that colours suit me just fine.

Of phonecalls and smses

2007-05-21T13:26:00.000+08:00

Routine.

And even feelings can become routine. I have my routines; every morning, when I return home from work, before I go to bed and of course, my beauty routine.

I am very aware that there can be a routine to feelings. I miss my family (the most) at approximately 5:30pm on Sundays. I start to feel a bit edgy, I try to deflect the uneasiness of being away from them, I try to ignore the annoyance that crawls on my skin. I get annoyed when I can`t have the things or people I want to be with. I do things. I read, I try to sleep and I even watch a little television. All I want is to be at home, enjoying our pre-dinner chat, munching on snacks with Mal... and feeling the familiar warmth of family.

It has been bugging me a little. How feelings acquired can easily be displaced because it has become a routine? I feel all gossipy when I meet Ginger and the rest of the duckies, I feel nostalgic when I meet Luke, I feel like a lady when Emilia comes along and I feel safe and protected with Siao. With family, feelings are routine, but that routine brings security. The dreaded routine of work, when I shut out the dread of marking, when I eradicate the pain of doing the things I don`t want to do. But, when feelings for a person feels like a routine... then.

Last night, I recieved a phone call from someone familiar. Uncannily familiar, but also strangely foreign. It has been a long, long while since we last spoke and to see his name flash on my mobile... I hiccuped. That is strange. Actual hiccups.

The conversation flowed easily, like how two people who have known each other for years talk, laugh and confide. But, it was also distant. Updates of our lives were one-liners, cursory questions about mutual friends, family members and even the state of our hobbies. How queer. The proverbial question was waiting to be asked. He asked, I answered. With a lump in my throat, how else could I have dealt with the situation then to be entirely honest?

Like a routine, we promised to keep in touch, to take care, to visit. I guess our conversations will always end that way. Promises that are always waiting to be kept. Will we ever visit? The fear of seeing each other face-to-face almost brings about suicidal thoughts. Like a routine, I feel the same flood of feelings I always feel after speaking to him. Like a routine, I try to validify my emotions, I try to pin them to some explanation, a practical solution even. I deride all possibilities that account for the way I feel whenever he comes in to play. Play with my mind but not my heart.

That is out of bounds.

It has been a routine. The same 'what-ifs', the same 'whys', the same 'it could have beens'.

Like a routine, questions are never answered.
And like a routine, I had a sleepless night, sob a little and confided in the only one person who knows how I really feel.

Routines are bad habits.
Send me a card.
Buy me a present.
And perhaps, when I mean enough, you tell me how you feel. No routines though.

Carita Retreat

2007-04-12T15:38:00.000+08:00

Pensive.
I was happy... and then I thought, I was really happy...

My gal pal Tessa and me... on the speedboat ala... Miami Vice...

Hold your horses and imagination...

This is a posed picture.

Trust me...

The Glossy 6

@ Pantai Carita

Hard pressed to find anytime to write about my recent Good Friday holiday sojourn to the beach resort of Carita, a 3 hours drive from Jakarta...

Pictures... of my fellow holidaymakers...

I feel inspired to go on another holiday now. Actually, I already am in the process of planning for a year-end extravaganza. It is going to happen! Nothing perks my weary soul like the prospect of traversing across a foreign land, ancient civilisation no less.

So, the initial fiasco of deadlines is over. I managed to switch into battle-mode and approached the "enemy" with a heady dose of pizzazz. It was like a war zone, free periods were converted to multi-tasking moments where I paid no attention to the fact that the crumbs from my meals were littering the keyboard, marked like a machine but... there is still that cumbersome exam paper to plough through over the weekend.

Will do... will do. Nothing will ruin the sleep that I have been looking forward to all week. The weekend is here. Glorious.

Bottleneck

2007-04-04T12:32:00.000+08:00

I am currently suffering from a bottleneck of sorts.

There is so much to do at work... exam papers to set and mark, daily work to plough through, lesson plans, design a training session for colleagues and even a morning assembly session to organise! Deadline for the above.... scattered randomly in the upcoming two weeks. I will get through it, I always do. Not because I am especially gifted at handling stress or multi-tasking, but, like anyone else... my survival instincts are at a competent level.

Mum and Mal came and left. The trip was exhausting for me as we zig-zagged Jakarta for 6 whole days. Trapized through shopping malls, pirouette along the paths of street markets, devoured the best food Jakarta has to offer and yak. I was talking and talking non-stop! Consumed by the fact that the next time I actually have a honest-to-goodness conversation with the two closest to me would be 6 months later. I was dying to introduce Prince Charming to Mum and Mal too. Their radars are more prolific than mine at discerning and coming to solid conclusions about the good and the bad.

Verdict: The Charming One Charmed.

I promised myself that I would only take 10 mins for this blogpost update.

Coming up soon:
The Aftermath
Good Friday Holiday Update

Finally. This is the day.

2007-03-16T14:53:00.000+08:00

I just went on the Lufthansa website....
Mummy and Mal will be flying today, this evening, in about 4 hours...
The flight is scheduled to be on time
They will be on the plane soon and I will see them at about 7:30pm Jakarta time.

I woke up today with a little bounce, a smile, my heart was beating a tad bit faster...
I have been smiling all day...
I am slightly nervous...
I have been planning their trip's itinery for the past week...

Just last night, Prince Charming, his posse and myself went scouting for a restaurant befitting The Queen herself. Yes... we found this restaurant. It is perfect, and it is to celebrate The Queen's birthday, though a tad bit early... who cares?

I am really dying of excitement. I want to go home, take my shower and wait for my driver to send me to the airport. There, I will be peeling my eyes open for the two most important ladies in my life. Whom I miss so dearly and am literally drooling to hold, hug and kiss.

This blog post is so random, I know.
My random thoughts... And now, I figure...
I am slightly incoherent.

What can I say?
Dear Lord,
please bless their trip... bless the flight...
and Mummy and Mal...
Thank you :)

When I see them... it will be more than love...

Blogskin

2007-03-13T10:51:00.000+08:00

Blogskin: Work-In-Progress

Look out for a brand new look!

March Holiday Resolution: Number 1.

Under the weather

2007-03-13T07:38:00.000+08:00

Ahh choo! Eh- hum!
*Limps*

Crap. The potent combination of Arabian smoke with my Oriental lungs is really starting to take its toll on my throat. Shisha with wine? Plus that pre-dinner bubur ayam, and that post dinner Saturday night indulgence of oven-baked-pita-chips-with-herb-butter. Sinful, but it was a Saturday!

The last week of term, almost synonymous with a cacophony of deadlines, last minute marking, scrambling for lost worksheets. Nothing that I cannot handle, but everything I rather not encounter. Countdown 4 days.

Friday. I think I will most certainly be on the verge of erupting with excitement the entire day. The touchdown.

Finally. I have been looking forward to the visit, the opportunity to catch up with all the happenings in the lives of Mummy, Mal and me. I have been racking my brains for the perfect holiday schedule for them. To cater to their shopping inclinations, beauty regimes and tastebuds will be a dizzying rendition of creativity and patience on my part. But, really, no one knows me like the two most important people in my life. And, really, I would even give up healthy food for them.

The next few days will be spent primming my little apartment, cleaning and doing a pre-holiday prep-trip to ensure that I will not get lost with them while bringing them around.

I wonder what Mummy and Mal will say about Jakarta. What will they say about how I live my life here. And, of course, the rather important question...

Honesty is Mummy's policy.
I can`t wait. I can`t wait. I can`t wait.

Woo!

Life and its perks

2007-03-10T14:29:00.000+08:00

Singing...

I love to sing, alone.
I know I have a nasal soprano that does not sit easy on people's ears.
I belt out ra-ra girl power hits (Beyonce is the singer of choice) when I need to feel empowered, I indulge in my retro hits when cleaning up my apartment and I do the sappy ballads when life decides to take a break from handing out niceties.

Singing...

With someone. Rather, having someone sing for you.
Mal sings for me all the time. In fact, we belt out numbers like well-seasoned divas and sometimes Mummy has to almost tear down the doors to make us shut up.

He sang for me yesterday.
It was one of those hang loose moments where we sit and chat, waiting for the yawns to pervade the night, to signal the end of yet another day.
Then, he picked up his guitar, strummed, hummed and sang.
Perhaps I was just indulging in my own little moment where I lived the scenes from books and movies, where the protagonist sits in awe of the singing hero.
Intimacy.

That was what I felt.

It is so easy to fall for a singing paramour.
Sometimes a single word can capture the entire spectrum of feelings. Sometimes, it is a look. Sometimes, it is a gesture. Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart.

It has been a tough week for me emotionally. Trying to hold everything together while battling demons who were waving billboards of insecurity, fear, disappointment, doubt and anger. I tried to close my eyes to ignore the nagging nugget of knowledge that I was trying to excuse my heart from feeling what I clearly felt.

I survived. I guess I always will. There are too many things in life to learn, too many emotions that I still yearn to feel, too many people I want to continue to love and. . .

Thank You for this week.
Laughter and tears.

Disasters

2007-03-10T07:33:00.000+08:00

The recent state of events that have plagued Indonesia made me rethink several misconceptions I had before arriving.

Truth be told, Jakarta city is certainly not as dangerous or dirty or polluted as non-visitors make it out to be. It has been close to 11 weeks since my initiation to this city and things have been turning out pretty well. The worst that has happened will probably come under the category of 'cussing'. Cursed by taxi-drivers. No biggie, I just feign ignorance. Why listen to things you don't want to listen to?

I digress.

The earthquake, the plane crashes, the mud slides, the flood and the deluge of sandcastles that will soon appear in the forgotten slums of Jakarta.

My students asked me, 'Miss, is this the end of the world?'.
Hell, no! Or, I hope not.

But, this is the thing. I find myself reacting half of a second slower than I would if these disasters happened back in Singapore.

Jakarta Post, Indonesia's leading English language paper coverage of the recent earthquake: 2 pages.
The Straits Times, Singapore's only English language paper detailed enhanced 24 colour photospread coverage of the recent earthquake: 8 pages

Uh-huh.
And then I say, perhaps after a few more months, I would probably stop my rapid fire change of conversation topics.

Shit

2007-03-05T13:28:00.000+08:00

I am riled. Peeved. Soon I will start to feel a wayward sense of disappointment, then a shred of hurt, and to cap off the wonderful string of events, I might even breathe a huge sigh of relief that it happened sooner. Way way way sooner than expected. Better that this happens sooner then later.

Words are failing me at this point. I am drawing a blank. I want to describe, put into words, metaphors, analogies and even some well deserved swear words to elucidate how I am feeling.
If I could take a picture of my mind right now... It would be a mess of twirls, knots and edges. A snap shot of my heart will show a fingernail scratch.

I think this is going to be worse than a senseless blog post. This is going to be my very first post that would only mean something to me, and me alone.

I am rendered speechless. I have no idea how and why and what was going through the mind of one individual when he decided to disregard.

Congratulations, Cowgirl.
I need to take a long hot bath to rid my body of this disgusting smell of dread that is hanging around me. Literally, I am *ugh*.

Blogging space

2007-03-01T12:38:00.000+08:00

My blog is suffering from fatigue.

I am wondering if my blog posts about my rather tepid life in Jakarta is getting boring.
I am wondering WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED to that picture of a tree on my page! It vanished. I will fix it soon... HTML whizz that I am.

The vaguely excitable 'event' that might ripple your bored dazed-out expressions while staring at my blog is... I was inflicted with, diarrhoea.

It started off on Saturday night when I had a dinner of hot-plate kang kung and some crackers. Yummy enough and hey! Its vegetables! Veggies do not make people sick! Or so I thought.

Tummy rumbled at 4am, signalling the start of my eruption. Half hourly visits to the toilet, nauseous and almost on the verge of stapling my anus shut, I managed to pop pill after pill of Lomotil to stop the flood. Successful.

I am one of those people who jog the day after recovering from a sprain. You might want to call it 'living on the edge'? I did promise Prince Charming to help him paint (not in an artistic role, but in a labour demanding role of splashing paint on styrofoams... one can not go wrong), and we trotted off to paint. I felt feverish and started to feel, really sick, and went home soon enough.

The thermometre read 38 degrees. Oh yes, I am sick. Alone and sick without the usual Mummy fussing all over me and without the dear PaPa taking me to the doctor. Falling sick, stinks. The aura of a day off from school did nothing for me as I had to get an MC from the doctor the next day, and I was certainly not up to any sort of travelling along the congested streets of Jakarta for a miserable slip of paper.

But of course, the Prince came to my rescue to amuse me with corny remarks and to kindly drive me to the clinic to obtain that piece of paper to certify that I am indeed sick.
'How is your shit?'
'Looking good..'

Two days later, and a few more visits to the toilet, I am now a-ok.
I am swearing off kang-kung for a while. The thought of getting sick all alone in Jakarta...
Scary.

Simplicity

2007-03-01T12:26:00.000+08:00

Simplicity

Where agenda, innuendo and connotations exist not
Where people say what they feel and mean what they say
Where food ordered, looks like it does on the menu
Where labels do not come with disclaimers
Where the law of gravity never did hold true
that what goes up must come down

This world
Chills with the draft of nauseous air
Chokes with its stream of deceit
Where no one ever hears what is said
When what is said is fogged by what is felt

Simplicity stares at me.
A straight edged better half that was never meant to fit into jagged sided me
I will stop pondering
I will learn to agree to disagree

That when people say
"It will all work out in the end"
They forget that all it ever means is,

You simply get what you give.

Chinese New Year

2007-02-19T15:15:00.000+08:00

Princess Tessyee, Princess Cowgirl, Prince Im On A Diet, Knight Grey

[In Bundung. Photo Credit: Prince Charming (not in picture)]

Snort.

Yeah pig. The Year of the Pig.

No reunion dinner. Ouch, that hurts. No trays of sinful cookies and savoury snacks. Ouch, that really hurts. Now, what do you call a road-trip with a Prince Charming, his best friend Prince I'm On a Diet and his girlfriend, Princess Tessyee during the Chinese New Year holiday?

A raucous mix of fun, rancid vomit, sexy games and one red-bull charged driver.

Bandung! A two hours plus plus plus drive from Jakarta was the locale for the escapade. Armed with chips, wine and sheer glee, the four of us departed on our road-trip. I was an excited bunny! This was perfect! A trip with the royal family without a plan. We were just going! Just doing it! A last minute trip put together by Prince Charming!

Prince Charming fared well as the assigned driver. It must have been difficult for him trying to concerntrate admist the din of off-key singing, a dizzy selection of songs which were not to his liking, silly jokes and enthusiastic navigation instructions from his better half, Prince I'm on a Diet. I was nicely comfortable in the back seat with Princess Tessyee, nibbling on chocolates and seeking out the scenery on the way.

Princess Tessyee's connections with all and sundry landed us at a house. A double storeyed contraption that was simply, a blast from the past. 1980s to be precise. Words will not do it justice. What would a road-trip be if we were in a less worthy abode? THIS, was old-school. There were even novels straight out from the 1960s, nicely arranged in the living room for our humble presence. Authentic!

Although it was already close to midnight, we decided to drive around Bandung at night to check out the scene. The rest of this post will be rather blurry. The reason being, yours truly, decided to showcase the very much less glamorous side of being me. The wine and the rancid vomit: All Mine. Caught up with the delight and excitement of being at the peak of Bandung and surrounded with the rather chilly air must have dulled my senses. Bring on the wine, the laughter and the defacto "I`m only a bit tipsy....".

Wine, coupled with a twisting road downhill was a truly divine experience. Do note that my accquaintance with Prince Charming and his royal family is barely a month old. Prince Charming had to contend with driving his car and keeping his hand on a rather juvenile passenger puking her guts out. But well, it was going to happen sooner or later. Prince Charming will eventually realise that I am a ridiculously nonsensical being who is fond of klutzy mannerisms. (Last night, Prince Charming asked me to shift from the back seat to the passenger seat of his car. What did I do? I threw my shoes to the front, and very very very vulgarly climbed, crawled and contorted into the passenger seat. Only to have him say "That is the first time anyone ever did that in my car.". EEKS.)

We started the following day in Bandung with a breakfast of Pringle potato chips, senbei and plain water before we finally got our act together to shower and drive to a restaurant for lunch. Shopping and going about the streets of Bandung made up the rest of the day before we started on the road trip back to Jakarta.

We decided to make a pit-stop at Prince Charming's hometown to have dinner with his parents to commemorate Chinese New Year before making our final thrust back to Jakarta. Playing silly word games that consisted of thinly veiled sexy talk that made up the return leg of the road trip was a laugh. The passengers were drifting in and out of consciousness, a result of the measly hours of sleep, while Prince Charming was making a feeble attempt at staying awake with the help of Red Bull.

I am in recovery mode now. Time to sober up before Wednesday! It has been an eventful week. An almost disastrous pre-emptive motion, the comical encounter in the lift, a cheerful phonecall from the Tans in Singapore, Mummy's well timed advice, February 14th, the road trip...

Valentine's Day Report

2007-02-19T14:23:00.000+08:00

The Streetside Eatery

Valentine's Day came and went. I am rather late with this post about the inaugural February 14th 2007 in Jakarta, and on hindsight, it is starting to feel like a good thing. Else the post would be nothing more than a smorgasboard of gushing and cynical ramblings about love and life.

I had an invitation for dinner on that mid week Wednesday that coincided with that red cocoa day. It was entirely up to my imagination if I wanted to regard the dinner as a testimony of the importance of the day. I could also choose to ignore any implicit or explicit innuendos, chillout and just go along for a mid week hiatus from my rudimentary cooking abilities.

The morning of Wednesday was spent wondering if he would say anything about dinner. Perhaps he forgot? Perhaps he would decide to make my life a bit simpler and tell me where we are going so that I would know what to wear. A casual remark perhaps? All that came my way, was a cursory "I`ll come by at 6:30pm.". Certainly more than I could ask for. Right.

Time always seems to stall when one is in a state of anticipation. For my case, I was thinking about my best laid plans for the 'overdressed' or 'underdressed' scenario. Imagine the embarassement if I overdressed for a casual friendly dinner. Imagine the dread if I underdressed for a romantic dinner. The pendulum can swing both ways and I was in a rather tight spot. In the end, I decided after a process of elimination to deck myself in a casual dress that, in my humble opinion, steered cleared of being dressy, and was an intended reflection of how I would approach the dinner.

He came by, I peeked into the pinhole. Great, he is dressed in jeans and a polo shirt. So far so good! Spell c-a-s-u-a-l. Spell r-e-l-i-e-f. The female intuition was right for once (especially for my rather lost-in-the-woods sense of the male perspective. aka: mixed signals).

I thought we would proceed to the basement to get his car, instead, we walked out of the apartment and I was starting to feel a tad bit unsure because we were just walking and not hailing a taxi. Walking along the streets of Jakarta at night aimlessly is not something people do.

Bajij. Indonesia's answer to Bangkok's infamous tuk-tuk. The world's answer to lung clogging smog. Our night's answer to transportation. We stopped by a bajij and he decided to formally introduce me to the chauffeur of the night. The bajij driver. You see, he decided to book a limousine for the night. I was starting to break into a little grin, he remembered that I wanted to have a thrill-ride on a bajij. We hopped on and I started to break into giggles. This was starting to be fun!

The 'restaurant' of choice was a street stall. A hole in the wall. A truly authentic Indonesian eatery with stray cats, flies and a rural interior. I wiped perspiration from my brow with delight! It was not turning out the way I thought it would be, this is the subversive reply to February 14th. With an air of nonchalance, he decided to deride all notions of what should be, and opted instead for a road less-ordinary.

Life is full of 'moments'. A moment I had, when I tucked into ikan bakar, kang kung and cumi with careless abandon. We laughed, we had fun and I had my moment.

Prince Charming digging in!

Sometimes a seemingly ordinary day can turn out to be a life changing moment. Sometimes an action can reap consequences that might sting for a long time. Sometimes a decision can open up a can of worms that was otherwise left forgotten.

Life is always filled with 'moments'. There was a moment, at least there was one for me.

I hope you had your moment too.

Valentine Day`s Musing

2007-02-10T17:39:00.000+08:00

Birthdays are worth celebrating. Christmas and wedding anniversaries fall under the same category too. Now what about Valentine's Day?

The day looms omnimously ahead, the day of reckoning. Will you fall into the trap of Hallmark-ing coupledom? Will the threefold prices of flowers and candle light dinners trap the men into parting with their dollars in a bid to stave off a doomsday with their lovers? How will your love be measured this Valentine's Day?

I have always wondered what it is about Valentine's Day. February 14th, please stand up.
My fondest Valentine's Day memory, circa 1999. Not too long ago, when the then boyfriend and I decided to go against convention and not celebrate the day. We spent the night of Valentine's having dinner at our regular eating place with our friends with careless abandon. No roses, no fancy dinner, no presents. It was unadulterated casual fun. No pressure to buy presents, no pressure to find the right outfit to wear to a restaurant with other couples as dinner companions, awkwardly aware that they are proclaiming their love to the world.

I am a love cynic. I am skeptical when presents like watches and jewellery come my way, too fast too soon. I abhore roses (No thanks to an ex-boyfriend whose mother owns a florist. Too much of a good thing?). I can not understand why dinner at a rowdy restaurant is deemed inappropriate on February 14th. Come on! Give the dim-sum places a break, little morsels of food with waitresses hollering their wares is rocking good fun.

This Valentine's Day, I am going to be one happy lady. I do not have to gawk at couples exchanging gifts at the train stations, I will not be asked the umpteen time if I want to buy roses by the entrepreneurial peddlers on the street, I will not feel foolish buying chocolates at the supermarket for myself and I will not have to justify my lack of love for this love festival.

That said, I guess I have always thought that Valentine's Day is, everyday. When Mummy kisses Papa, when Papa holds Mummy's hand wherever they go and hugs her with the ardour of a leading man. Papa is not romantic, at least not in the way men are supposed to be these days. He does not buy her flowers, instead he never fails to call to ask if she has eaten or buys her favourites cakes and pastries on his way home. He does not serenade her over a candle light dinner, instead he will bring her across the island to satisfy her cravings whenever she has one. He does not buy her diamonds and branded items, instead, he buys her gold, because to him, it is more valuable.

Growing up seeing their love, it is hard for me not to wonder if it is possible to find a man like Papa and if I can be as giving and loving as Mummy.

This Valentine's Day, I hope that someday, I will find love that transcends the worldly desires, the expectations and the criteria of romance. Let's have a party and celebrate 'like'. It is simple enough. Liking a person sans drama. My cup of tea.

That said, if you need my address to send me some chocolates, it is not too late. I heard that DHL delivers to Jakarta. No need for pralines or those cheesy individually wrapped haute-couture chocolates. Plain old M&Ms with peanuts will do. For those in the know, yes, I do not like the orange-coloured ones.

More floods

2007-02-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

I must do justice to the Great Jakarta Flood.

Frantic calls from the Tan Family, emails from friends and worried SMSes from all and sundry. I must qualify that the situation though plain catastrophic in some areas, did not really affect me to a too large degree. I finally got hold of the Straits Times today and saw the photos that instilled wide spread fear in family and friends back home in Singapore; that I might just be drowning in muddy murky waters looking for my displaced shoes while swimming to safety to rescue my dresses, skirts and the Botkier bag. Sorry to break your hearts, but my carefully honed survival swimming skills were never put to use and I stayed high and dry.

Well, dry first. Stuck in my little apartment with nothing much to do since I left my marking in school, I was left to my own devices. Between lazing in bed, working out at the gym and going for a swim in the pool (greatest irony while it is flooding), I was glued to my Book of the Week, Zadie Smith's On Beauty.

Fantastic prose and vivid descriptions of characters and places have been keeping me glued to. I almost am hoping the book does not come to an end. Dear Zadie, it has been a while since I was smitten, by a book no less. I am in love! Of susbtance indeed. Book review alert is coming up on this blog once the end is near. In contrast, I read this horrid book, Nicholas Spark's The Notebook in less than 2 hours. Plain nondescript book that does nothing for my hardened soul and cold cold heart. But, really, the story of love that lasts a lifetime has been done to death. I know, people grow old, through sickness and in health coupled with a love that is supposed to last forever. Save the tress!

With school cancelled for a grand total of 3 days, it is finally back to work today. Classes are half filled and everyone (yours truly included) was excitedly talking about the flood.

"Miss, Miss! We miss you! Were you scared by the flood?"
"Oh! I miss all of you too!"
"So Miss, what did you do during the 'holiday'?
"Erm... well, I stayed at home, swam, jogged and read... nothing much really. I was kinda dry..."
"Wow! You are so lucky Miss! Our homes were flooded! Water level was waist-high! We are now living in hotels! Blackouts! No water!"
"Oh really? I even went to EX yesterday......"
*Chorus of SCREAMS*
"MISS! YOU WENT TO EX YESTERDAY?!! Enak banget! Miss we are so jealous!!!!"
*Chorus of SCREAMS*
"Miss you are very naughty! Enjoying and going out when there is a flood?!"
"Erm..."

**EX is an entertainment complex that is linked to a snazzy dapper mall that is located in Central Jakarta. I ventured out of the apartment to have lunch and to walk around EX with the member of the royal family, the Prince *ahem* *cough* *tries hard not to gag* dare I say it C-H-A-R....

The Wedding

2007-02-04T15:34:00.000+08:00

Who would have thought that I would be attending a true-blue Indonesian wedding less than a month after my arrival?

Circa 1990, when big bouffant hair, curtained gowns with lace and ribbons were in vogue and make-up was supposed to recreate a masquerade atmosphere. Sparkles and diamonds dripping off the ears and limbs of women who looked absolutely thrilled at their moment of Cinderella-esque fantasy-come-true. Eeks.

Nothing short of pomp and pagentry, an Indonesian wedding is a rehearsed gala event. Family members stride like Marilyn Monroes and James Deans down the red carpet when their names are announced by the host... I guess it is like a Singaporean wedding but the only difference is that it reeks of old-school-glam. Not a very bad thing actually since weddings have now evolved to become a "show" of romance and love. A harbinger of great things to come must be when the bride waltzed with her father on the red carpet before she was given away to the groom-in-waiting. Another waltz before they proceeded to cut the cake with a sword! The groom was in fact wearing white gloves... pray tell, WHY?

I think I should stop being a critic. What would my own wedding be like?

I will stop waxing lyrical about weddings right now.
The love-life of this blogger does not warrant any form of dreams and fantasies.

Did I mention that I want a stand-up wedding meal of wine and canapes? Chocolate fondue and sushi? Greek salad with loads of cheese? Vietnames rolls and Thai nibbles? With a four piece string quartet? Guests will actually have to dance and laughter will fill the air. A blessed event with family and friends.

And the gown.. it will be...

Nah... I am not a die-hard romantic.
Whatever will be will be.
Miss Cowgirl will continue to gallop into the sunset in search for the meaning of life, maybe not love.

The FLOOD

2007-02-04T15:11:00.000+08:00

BANJIR

That is FLOOD in Bahasa Indonesia...
By golly, habbiedashohyodododlles...
This is the real thing. The flood experienced in Singapore last month pales in whitening comparison to the wet wet wild world Jakarta is currently experiencing.

I am still relatively dry, obviously, since I live on the 20th floor. Hold it there if you think I am not affected by the increasing water level.

Roads are rivers, normally placcid Jakartans are now avid swimmers and all hell has broken loose at supermarkets. Literally.

School was cancelled on Friday. I had an inkling about the disastrous state of affairs threatening to flood when it started to pour on Thursday. Dark clouds overwhelmed the city and a couple of teachers and myself included were discussing the probability of a flood and the higer possibility that school would be cancelled. Long weekend alert!

Hopes were not dashed!

At 5:45am, groggy me recieved a phone call with the greeting "Your dream is coming true!" from Abigail, fellow colleague and neighbour. I promptly retrieved my pyjamas from the laundry basket and went right back to sleep. Hours later and all psyched to enjoy the long weekend, reality hits.

The gym was closed, the laundry shut and the main road right outside my apartment was flooded. Damn. People were unable to get to work. Transport is almost non existent. This is a FLOOD! The queues at the supermarket were way too long and people were stocking up on gallons of water! YIKES!

SMSed Mummy and she told me that she saw the news and the flood looks bad. IT IS! Papa even cautioned me to EVACUATE if it escalates out of control! YIKES!

The extent of the flood finally hits home when I recieved SMSes from colleagues whose homes are submerged. Some suffered blackout, some had to paddle to the main road to get supplies, some had to cross rivers just to get food... This is not going to be fun. My colleagues in the know cautioned me to stock up on water, canned and fresh food to last me a few days in case I am stuck at home due to rising waters. I promptly did that this morning.

Sun please shine on Jakarta.

Latest update: School is cancelled again tomorrow. This is getting scary.

Princess Lydia

2007-02-01T12:57:00.000+08:00

A seemingly innocuous outing gone astray.

On the outset, it seemed like a rather seemingly harmless outing with a fellow deliverant of Year 1980, who seems like a seemingly low-key person. Sans drama. That is good, especially since I am the seemingly more theatrical and hysterical one.

So, I was told that I would be brought somewhere after work. Destination was kept a secret, to have that surprise 'element'. Like opening a little present. Operative word: LITTLE.

*drum roll please*

Of high intuitive quotient, I forecasted... a museum, a gallery, or a 'place of interest' of sorts?

The National Gallery of Indonesia
It was closed. Operative word: CLOSED.
*Readers, I hope you realise while reading this that I am trying to build a CLIMAX here*

What was I to say or express? Erm... 'it`s OK'... 'we will come another time'...

And then, I became a member of the Royal Family.
*Readers, at the count of 1-2-3 say "WHAT?!"*

I hasten to add that it might be a tad difficult to understand or picture what transpired next.

He (the royal in disguised as a commoner) parked the car and had a chat with the security guards in gibberish a.k.a. Bahasa Indonesian. They conversed while I shifted from side to side to prevent those pesky mosquitoes from my legs.

What happened next was pure comedy. I could not stop laughing to save my life, going red in the face and vibrating like a vibrator. *oops*

The gallery is now open for viewing. For me, Princess BohoChic and Prince I-Have-Not-Thought-Of-A-Pseudonym-Yet.

Imagine walking around the national gallery with three security guards keeping watch.... as you stroll along the corridors... looking at works or art... pointing, admiring, staring, gazing, making oh-la-la comments of the painting on the walls. Just you, the art and the guards. I felt like the Princess of BohoChic accompanied by a knight and his guards as I made my way around. I was positively tickled, making mental notes of this 'experience' that just happened to happen.

So, it seems... a midweek jaunt for me turned out to be a royal experience.
Thank you for the memories and the laughs.

Saturday Night Fever

2007-01-28T15:36:00.000+08:00

Saturday Night Fever

Several firsts occured last night:

1) My first movie experience in Jakarta: Blood Diamond
2) My first late night out in Jakarta: Kemang
3) My first experience of witnessing a bribe in ACTION
4) Transvestites in Jakarta: Taman Lawang

Very enjoyable outing indeed!
Movie experience was similar to Singapore. Nil difference except the company was different. More on my movie companion after I get him to sign a letter of release for any private and personal information, a.k.a "confidentiality" clause to allow me to blog about him. The corny thing was that after the movie, the first thing he said was "You are so left-brain!"-- because I was sitting rod-steel-straight throughout the entire movie. Read up on "Multiple Intelligence" dear readers!

In my attempt to veer away from being a boring blogger, I shall jump straight into the climax. For the benefit of my Singaporean readers, I shall elucidate a "bribe in action" in words.

So, my companion was driving and we were heading towards Kemang. Kemang is an area filled with pubs, cafes and restaurants, and it was jam-packed. So, on the way there, my companion was trying to navigate through the mess and he failed to filter into the turning lane in time. A quick-thinking traffic policeman flagged us down, and proceeded to check his license.

What happened next was plain hilarious. Said companion conferred with his friends who were with us, and Rp 20 000 (S$4) was fished out of a wallet, and admist giggles, the money was shoved into the policeman's hands. That is all, that simple people.

I learnt a few lessons.

Always remain calm and collected and cool. My companion chatted with the policeman like they are old friends.
Start the bidding war small. Offer the minimum first and negotiate.
Proceed to play down the situation by asking for directions. Make the policeman feel like he earned the bribe.
Smile, say thank you and drive along.

My 4th weekend

2007-01-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

How have I been doing? Not bad really...

In fact, I am smiling right now. In fact, I am in a rather jovial mood despite sleeping for only 5 hours last night...

I have been trying to experiment with "Introductions". How do I actually capture my reader's attention? Will readers get bored of reading my weekly updates? My musings? My thoughts? I came up with something in the middle of last week. I wanted to start my post with:

"Gymming with Dangdut"

- I have been going to the gym at my apartment regularly and I observed that the music played depends very much on the counter staff on duty. On good days, I am running along with hip-hop thumping sounds in the background, which inadvertently create images of toned buffed bods ... a la... Jennifer Lopez. On bad days, I have techno dance tracks which only distract me from regulating my breathing. On amazing days, I run to dangdut. Dangdut is a popular music genre here in Indonesia. In a nutshell, it is a pop fusion with old-skool diva glam. It consists of a shrieking singer, dance beats and traditional clingling and clanging of a dysfunctional gamelan ensemble. It never fails to amuse me. I run with a vengence when it is Dangdut.

The title, Gymming with Dangdut is rather 'flat' don't you think?

The Tans

2007-01-23T14:37:00.000+08:00

My lovely family! Mummy, Papa, Mal, Kor and me!

I would really kill to have pizza and pasta now... and smoked salmon and the soups. Italian cuisine crave alert!

Another shot of the lovely Tans, having coffee and cake.. Favourite past-time is eating.

It is raining here in Jakarta. I am currently craving tao sar pau, mummy's - fried bee hoon, black bean fish, sambal kang kong, sweet and sour fish and sambal goreng. And popiah, Teochew porridge, fishball soup with vermicelli and tom yam soup. I am hungry.

Church

2007-01-22T21:09:00.000+08:00

I don`t usually have a serious urge to blog. I blog to keep my friends in the loop to keep my parents aware that I am still alive and because I need to keep my readers engaged.

Tonight, I am making an exception.
-----
Yesterday evening, I went to church here in Jakarta. My colleague Abigail and her friend Dylan came by my apartment to bring me to church. I was feeling that initial unease, unsure of what service would be like... I was anxious about the 'feel'. The feel is important.

The church is located in the district of 'Greenville' where huge trees line the streets and houses are guarded by security guards and sky high fences. The odd food peddler was making his rounds and the area was surprisingly serene and that helped to keep my nerves in place. Abigail introduced me to her friends and welcoming smiles and warm handshakes.... I even managed to crack some corny jokes (a sure sign that I am being 'myself' Haha!).

The message of the service was on 'Desire'.
Desire. To desire for possessions and for all that is better on the other side of the fence. Whether it is a better job, a more wonderful spouse, a fancy car, a bigger house... you get the drift.

How often do we stop to thank God for all the blessings He has blessed us with? How often do we leave things in His hands and not ask for more and more and more?

I am always worrying about my family. I worry about Mummy and her sinus, I worry that PaPa would worry too much about the business, I worry that Mal would be so busy with school/work/friends and forget to take care of herself, I worry about KorKor too. I worry and I fear. Perhaps they are irrational fears, but.

I worry so much that I often forget that my dear Father in Heaven is always looking out for me and my loved ones. I forget that if I call myself a believer of His word, a Christian... I should put my faith and trust in Him. Sometimes I commit the sin of being a 'selective believer'. I ponder about the meaning of my life, I hope that my life can be a testimony of God's love... and then I wonder why I am still single, why it is seemingly impossible to find a good man, a someone special (yes, this issue bugs me often enough.. right Mal? The 'will I be single for the rest of my life' question!). Of course NOT. It is all about the 'mould'!

I call myself a worry-wart.

The message was to stop and trust in Him. To stop desiring but instead to thank God for the blessings and to share the blessings with others.

I cried, like I always do when I sing hymns. Singing hymns reminds me of my schooldays in St.Hilda's where I found God... through songs of praise. So, I sang yesterday, I sang and I sang.
And then, I prayed.

All the worries in the world are numbered.
Yesterday, I placed the worries in His hands and asked for Him to just hold me a little tighter when I am afraid here away from my family, my home and my friends. I asked for Him to lead me when I feel lost and then I prayed, with my all heart that He would look over my family and let His love just flow. For the young minds that are entrusted to me... I prayed that I would be a good teacher.

And I love you so much dear Lord...

Outing with PSW

2007-01-21T14:35:00.000+08:00

A glorious Saturday.

It started like an ordinary Saturday until the clock struck 1130am. I was excited and bounced downstairs to meet Pak Wandi (my driver for the day) who was tasked to figure out where exactly the long-long-lost Kindred Spirit (K.S) will be waiting. Armed with a map and my self-professed expert topographical map reading skill that was perfected during my JC days, Pak Wandi and I were ready, set and GO!

Roads were clear and it was an extremly sunny day... barely 15 minutes in the car and I spotted the first landmark, the exit toll road. Turned left, turned right... and the Sheraton Hotel started to appear, in the distance. I quickly sent K.S an sms to ready him to look out for my car. The plan was for him to jump into my vehicle without stopping. It seemed possible in my warped mind, but I soon realised that I was way wrong. I saw K.S standing at the bus-stop outside Sheraton with a huge bag, I flung the door open and he stumbled in.

*LOOK! STARE! GRIN! SMILE!* Finally!

K.S could have just passed off as Santa Claus. In the huge bag, *surprise surprise* was a survival kit of sorts. Peach candy, Chelsea sweets, packets of Japanese Senbei with NUTS, two Jay Chou CDs and two skirts that he bought when he was in Hong Kong. K.S actually went shopping for ladies clothes! Which is more unbeliveable? Him shopping? Or him knowing how to shop for a female? Touched but more concerned about the SENBEI I unbashedly started snacking on them right away! My favourite!

We yakked and we kept smiling like two crazy goons who had not seen each other for years. I had my first taste of Jakarta's jam. The jam was crazy, it was human and traffic jam. Dusty roads and people everywhere between vehicles, getting on and off. Soon enough we arrived at Mangga Dua Mall... it is like MahBoonKrong (MBK) in Bangkok. Level after level of shops selling clothes and bags and shoes... where bargaining is the norm. We did not buy anything, partly because it was so crowded and partly because I was making mental notes of which shop to bring Mal when she comes to visit in March. There are loads of funky clothes and shoes which are Mal's kind of stuff. The human traffic was getting to us, and K.S and I decided to proceed to Plaza Senayan. After spending 15 minutes trying to find Pak Wandi and the car, we got out of the mess and sought refuge at a more hospitable mall.

Well, it was an unexpected expected situation at Plaza Senayan. K.S and I were going through the different menus of the many cafes and restaurants, trying to decide what we were going to have for dinner later. I told K.S that I was not going to buy or shop for anything as the plan for the day was to chat, catch up and eat (Japanese food! Sushi and fish were my crave yesterday!) ourselves silly.

Then, well... something caught my eye. I casually suggested going into one boutique to check out the prices. I wanted to 'compare prices', that was ALL. Guess what happened? No actual need to actually guess. The clothes were yummy, beautiful and I saw a dress and a top that I liked at FIRST GLANCE. K.S was baiting me to try. I thought, what harm could come out of trying, simply trying some clothes. Just try, and the dress, a lovely blue number was oh-so-nice and the top, a casual-funky number was oh-so-irresistable. K.S said that the dress was weird but K.S and I do not agree on everything. Fashion is one of the areas of casual disputes. K.S for your information is rather straight-laced and regards my fashion sense as 'avant-garde' when I am very sure I dress rather normally.

So there, I went shopping. I bought them. No regrets. I am determined to wear the blue dress when I go out with K.S again, just to make a point.

Going out with K.S yesterday made me realise that it is not very easy to find someone who is patient enough to wait for me to change in and out of many outfits, hem and haw about the 'nicer' colour, the 'should I buy?' for the umpteen time, who understands why I must get the 'new piece' all the time. K.S helps me carry my bags of stuff, K.S understands why drinking soup is important to me, K.S laughs at me, K.S is sarcastic but never hurts, K.S laughs and runs with me and K.S coined 'walking paradox'.

Saturday should not have ended. But it did. After shopping for some groceries and giving K.S a quick tour of my abode, it was time to bid K.S goodbye. I hope we meet again soon enough. Long lost remember? I hope K.S reads this blog soon enough. K.S, thank you for reminding me that I will never grow up to be an elegant woman, for making me come to terms with my innate corny ways and for making the day a wonderful one.

It was a happy Saturday. Happy, I am told is a cliche adjective. But, happy I was yesterday and happy I am 'usually' when K.S is around. That is what real friends are for. Another cliche.

TGIF

2007-01-19T17:46:00.000+08:00

TGIF!

I have been looking forward to TODAY! For a variety of reasons...

(1) I will be meeting up with Kindred Spirit tomorrow! We are planning to go around the city, North Jakarta, Chinatown and do some general sightseeing!
(2) It will be fantastic to have a cosy tete-a-tete with Kindred Spirit! Especially since I am this far away from home... it will help ease the 'still-there' general feeling of isolation from the people I love back home!
(3) Kindred Spirit promised to buy me dinner! I have been craving for Japanese food for the longest time! Yummy! The weekend is always an excuse to pig out!
(4) I want to sleep! Looking forward to waking up at a more earthly hour of maybe 8am? Then having a nice breakfast... and perhaps the gym if I am up to it!
(5) I love Friday nights! To anticipate the weekend... LOVELY!

This week marks the beginning of getting to know my students better. After the initial awkward silence, my students are starting to open their mouths and showing a little bit of their true colours! Ehehehehe... Show me the colours!

I am enjoying the noise and the energy from the students. Lessons start to come alive and I can show off a bit of my funky vibe! Plus, it is rather funny to listen to my students and their nonsense... Especially from this particular class that never never fails to tickle my funny bone. It is all very unpredictable and I think I had to suppress my laughter on a few occassions when the boys decided to do their "thinking out of the box".

Oh yes! I hope to be able to go to church on Sunday too! A few colleagues attend church and I think I will join them this Sunday! Something else to look forward to! Will blog about church soon!

Shout out to: Emimi, Luke, Mal, Siyao, Pat and MUMMY dearest! I really appreciate the SMSes, the calls and the emails! An unmistakable feeling of warmth and love touches my heart whenever I am 'remembered'. I miss all of you very dearly. Stay beautiful! MUACKS!

So there we go dear readers... Another week is behind us. This week a student taught me something. There is a very quiet girl who never looks at me, much less into my eyes. She sits right in front, literally under my nose. I thought that it was rather unusual and with the multi-taking necessary (bad excuse) when teaching, I left her alone.

But, she continued to bug my consciousness for some inexplicable reason. So, I decided to just look at her. I decided to catch her glance and look straight into her eyes, and smile.

I walked into class, and smiled at her. I did it once, I did it twice, and finally, she broke into a slight grin. I did it again the next day, and I tried it again. She broke into a smile. She is still keeping real quiet in class, but today, I cracked another one of my 'jokes' and she showed her teeth and laughed. I guess being a corny hysterical nutcase helps.

Lesson: Take the time to smile. Smile at life... Cos more often than not, Blessings are in Abundance.

More pics!

2007-01-14T15:24:00.000+08:00

The gym and the partial view of the tennis courts.
There are six towers of residence. This is the front lobby of my tower.
The exterior of my favourite cafe in the condo. The food is to DIE FOR. They sell the yummiest traditional Indonesian desserts (hot and cold) and also sandwiches and finger food. The staff are very friendly and the interior is minimalist chic. I will post pics of the interior once I am on friendly terms with the people.

More pics coming up in the next few days. The SWIMMING POOL and the supermarket.... wait for it!

Cleaning

2007-01-14T15:05:00.000+08:00

My bedroom. With the satin sheets! Ehehehehe... notice the bedside table? It has my super-duper ultra loud alarm clock! My journal, my candle and my handphone.
The view from my bedroom window. I am on the 20th floor... so, I have a bird's eye view of the surroundings.
My little couch and my matching carpet. The table doubles up as a dining table too!
Another bedroom which is like a storeroom cum studyroom. I am rarely in this room...
A different angle of the living room.

Sunday is usually a lazy day...the clock strikes 6 in the evening and that unmistakable sense of dread. It will be the beginning of a work week soon.

Today is different.

I cleaned, all because of the horror stories I heard yesterday while out with my more experienced city-dwelling friends. RATS, LIZARDS, COCKROACHES, WORMS, SPIDERS.

Imagine my horror when they relayed stories about rats having a tete-a-tete in homes with their human inhabitants, or worms crawling out of the sewage holes in toilets and sinks OR the proliferation of lizards and spiders. Creepy crawlies. I shall qualify, I am wholeheartedly afraid of ALL of them. In a valiant bid to ensure that I will never have to lay a rat-trap in my humble apartment, I was on a mission this lovely Sunday morning.

I cleaned. I swept, wiped, swept, mopped, scrubbed and cleaned everywhere and anywhere. No maid, no stranger, no one can clean like me. I was out to ease my own paranoia and fear. I had to know that the cracks, under the bed, under the sofa, on the ceiling... I HAD to know that nothing was there. A scurrying rat... though very unlikely in my abode deserved to know that a tete-a-tete with me will never be an option.

Contigency plan in case creepy crawlies decide to strike:

I will grab my keys, take the lift downstairs and summon help from the security guard on duty.

"Please Sir. PLEASE! TOLONG!".

Pixeled Photos

2007-01-14T14:43:00.000+08:00

Saturday...

My second Saturday in Jakarta!

An eye-opening Saturday. One which serves to cement my reservations about this city. Somehow or another, the construction boom, the onslaught of malls and the advent of consumption among the well-heeled have conveniently left behind the forgotten poor.

I went out with my colleagues to 2 beautiful designer malls, Plaza Senayan and Senayan City. Sparkling marble floors, Gucci, Prada, Bvlgari... gourmet coffee, numerous delicatessen that only the most discerning tastebuds can appreciate. People, beautiful people... all togged out in the latest designer-wear.

Great! I feel at home! I shall not pretend to be someone who is left behind in the bandwagon of advancement. In fact, I was glad, way glad to see Topshop, Miss Selfridge and even Debenhams plus a well-stocked Marks & Spensers that sells my favourite cookies and restaurants with lovely interiors (no inkling about the food yet).

In Singapore (and I will hasten to add that I err on the side of generalisation) the poor are kept away from the streets. One does not feel guilty about buying and spending, here... beggars line the sidewalks and the roads with careless abandon. I did what I had to do yesterday, to save me the agony of an unimaginable guilt. I looked away, I looked straight ahead and sought the solace of the mall with relief.

The greatest irony.
While the boutiques and restaurants were teeming with people... a lone store stood.
UNICEF. A UNICEF store selling cards and handicraft in aid of the poor.
There it stood, uncomfortably.
It did not belong.

Got through the week

2007-01-12T17:35:00.000+08:00

What can I say? Except...

Congratulations to myself for getting through the week in one piece!

I suppose it is no big deal really... since teaching is not new to me, but, being away from home will never be easy. So, I have been keeping things in perspective and taking care of my physical and emotional well-being so that it will not affect my work.

After spending a week with my three new classes (including my new form class), I am starting to realise that kids or TEENAGERS will always share similar traits no matter which part of the world they are in.

My three new classes, for ease of classification are as follows: The Zoo, The Discovery Centre and The National Library. As diverse as hot chocolate, coffee and juice. I shall not even attempt describing the individuals in those three places of interest. Admitedly, I still do not know my students well, and I can not even remember their names (except for the few who either remind me of people I know and thus I have an easier task of remembering OR the ones that stand out of the crowd for reasons... good and bad).

My new form class is uncannily similar to 05S01, my first form class at TPJC! The students in the class are considered 'good' by other teachers (I do not know them yet... so 3rd party information is as reliable as it gets!) and my impression of them, based on my gut and my relatively sound Emotional Quotient Register is that they are a well-behaved bunch who are focused and want to do well academically. I feel comfortable with them, enough to lower my guard just that mili-centimetre less and I really hope things go well during the course of the year. Having a form class helps me to feel more involved with the school and it is always nice to have a group of people to 'take care' of. Motherly instinct ALERT!

I have been asking around, to see what the others around me are doing during the Chinese New Year holidays. There is no denying that I really want to fly home, but at the same time, I am trying to conserve capital and 'homesickness'. I reckon, if I return home too soon, I might be in a situation where I will want to return home again. So, perhaps it might be better to have a longer hiatus and then return home when I get a bit too dandy for my own good. In the meantime, I am staying occupied and looking forward to going out with my new colleagues this weekend to immerse myself in the local scene!

Now, for the update on the 'Running Timetable'. Countdown for the year`s BIG event! My 3rd Marathon. Yes yes, I know it is in Dec, but I plan to improve on my timing slowly and very steadily. I thought that my training regime will be severly affected by my move to Jakarta since I can not and will not jog around my area (am being a filial daughter and listening to Papa and Mummy!). To my delight there is a well-equipped gym in my condo and I have been tracking my progress. So far so good!

A long term challenging goal.. Where the mind is supposed to triumph over the body! Mr Scowler and I decided to attempt the marathon again this year though we are unable to train together this year, he is doing his own stamina and endurance training while I am doing mine over here. I hope it will be a 'tradition' of ours... running the marathon! For as long as my legs can carry me...

Running the race meant a lot to me last year... for a variety of reasons. Finishing it with him meant even more (erm... despite the fact that I snapped quite a few times during the runs because he kept going ahead of me! Hello mate! We are supposed to run together!). He might scowl often enough... and I am not the nicest smelling runner after 21km... but, thank you. Hee.

I have been keeping up with the news and I see another round of 'thank-yous' necessary at this juncture.

TT Durai, thanks for everything. (I am keeping it short and sweet. The poor man must have enough curses rained on him that he alone can halt the El Nino effect and droughts around the world single-handledly.)

I can imagine Papa and Mummy getting all upset about their lost dollars that were invested in the hospitality and welfare trust fund of the Durai Inc. Had fun in First Class Sir? Enjoy the rest of the journey... Beggars can not be choosers. Crisp and clear plain water?

I am my Parents

2007-01-10T18:59:00.000+08:00

What do you do when you realise that you ARE your parents?

Not becoming like your parents...
I am in a crisis of sorts. I realised today that I have become Mummy and Papa.

Yes yes, I studied Biology and Chemistry, so I am aware that some of their traits will inherently be evident in me and I will thus have some resemblance to them in both the personality and physical look-alike departments of the Tan Family Co. Pte Ltd.

I am not embarassed to be an offspring of the Tan Co., let me qualify, I adore and love the Tans to bits. But but...

I think I am becoming a bit of an information hound. I have been in Jakarta for a week now, and I was having the sure signs of "The Straits Times" withdrawal symptoms. I thought it must be an occupational hazard of being a GP teacher. Right? "Read the newspapers" being my oft quoted refrain.

Imagine the sheer joy when I went up to the school's library yesterday and read THE Straits Times.

*no tears of joy.. but.. I swear my heart skipped a beat*

The school I am teaching in subscribes to THE Straits Times. Joy, sheer joy.

Now what has this got to do with my parents? Papa, is a fellow newspaper afficiando. In fact, he inculcated in me the love for reading and watching the news. Papa abhores all programmes except for the news (in all languages) programme. Lately, I realised that I am becoming more and more like him. Fret not, I am subscribing to the Jakarta Post and a daily dose of The Straits Times will rid me of the news withdrawal symptoms. I guess in this globalised world, being out of touch with the happenings around us will render one obsolete in a few days. Uh-huh.. T T Durai's civil suit... Maia is a pansexual (bwhahahahaha... that article got me rolling on the floor!).

Let me move on to Mummy dearest and me. Now, Mummy is my best friend and I love her (more than I love chocolates with peanuts) so so much. Mummy and me share some admirable traits. We love shopping, we are both vain, we love eating desserts and Italian food, we cry easily and we are both corny.

Sorry Mummy.
Despite my love and admiration of all of you, I really do not want to be a compulsive hygiene and neat-always-in-order... erm... freak. I am starting to pick up single strands of hair on the floor, noticing a single speck of dust and making sure that my bedsheets and pillowcases are crease-free when I make the bed every morning. Ah!

The moment I start hanging my clothes on hangers that are seperated equally (to a decimal point accuracy) on the clothes pole with a fiery passion, I know I should start being hysterical.

Not a bad thing actually...
Doing things that reminds me of home and my family helps me to stay sane, stay rooted and never forget what they taught me.

I told my classes today when I met them for the first time my list of expectations. I ended the list with something that I believe will get us through the year, sane.

Be kind. Be kind to one another and be kind to me (very important! I still refuse to be wrinkled by my students a.k.a my JOB. ahahaha...).

Mummy always said to 'Be Kind'.
I guess being alone and looking out into the nightsky here gives me all the space and inspiration to be so dramatic. Singaporean lingo for 'drama-mama'.

Photos

2007-01-08T19:15:00.000+08:00

And yes... the photos.

I forgot to lug the humble cable from Singapore that connects my handphone to the USB port.

I promise I will upload the pictures as soon as IT-ly possible.

I actually went around taking pictures last evening. I am a responsible blogger. Fret not.

First day of school

2007-01-08T18:32:00.000+08:00

First day of school...
Actually.. first day at WORK.

Well, I was all set to start my first day on a right note by having a good dinner last night, picked out my clothes, made sure my alarm works (and made sure again and again... at home, there is Mummy as a back-up alarm. Here, if I am late, I am dead.) lit an aromatheraphy candle and had some quiet-time by writing in my journal. However, sleep was an illusion at best. I was tossing and turning...

And just as I was about to fall asleep...

*beep*

SMS. Ahhh... who could it be but dear old Mr.Scowler ready to hear me wax lyrical and be pensive about the most mundane things. I will give up my sleep for him only because I love having thinking conversations, with him being painfully and brutally honest about my incessant worries and ramblings.

Today, is the day.
My alarm clock, loud and proud, woke me up early. No tossing and turning. I was on task and ready to go.

*beep*

SMS. Ahhh... Mr.Scowler decided to initiate a message delivery service, this early, to wish me good luck and to make the morning perfect for me.

The school building is in a nutshell a refrigerator. Sorry to disappoint dear readers if you were expecting an indept description of the school. It was so cold today my sensory abilities were nullified. A fully air-conditioned building, seven storeys high and get this... an in house radio station manned by the students. Now.. no dowdy nationalistic songs or National Day emotional hum-drum songs, mind you. Instead, at about 2pm, I was way way surprised to hear Black Eyed Peas from the PA system and get this... my immediate neighbours beside me started to hum and sing. Be warned, the karaoke-r in me will be unleashed.

Wait for it...

You WILL hear me score a few ballads.

Being the first day of school, students and teachers were bustling about and settling down. I was essentially a lost sheep and had to ask directions from the students who are at first impression very lively and friendly. They love to talk, and talkative me was asking questions about life in Jakarta... basically I was trying to compile a Lonely Planet for myself.

-Best Shopping Mall
-Where to watch movies
-Places where students hang out (and best avoided by yours truly)
-Food places to check out

Meetings, introductions and information overload made up my day.

I have a good feeling about this.

I guess it has a lot to do with the people. They look at you in the eye, smile and offer a warm handshake. When people take the time to be kind... the sincerity, unmistakable.

Thank you dear Lord. You know what I am talking about.

3 days later...

2007-01-06T20:43:00.000+08:00

I am starting to calm down...

Yes... I have spent 3 nights sleeping in my new bed in Jakarta...

I learnt some things over the previous few nights:

1) My father (dear Papa) can actually SMS in SMS lingo! I was way surprised when I recieved an SMS from him to remind me to LOCK MY DOOR. Yes Papa... I check before I sleep everynight... please don`t worry...

2) Yoghurt and museli are pricey in Jakarta.. though one can always opt for the locally made yoghurt instead of the typical Bulla and Yoplait

3) I am in heaven... FRUITS heaven! The sweetest and freshest fruits everyday.. and I had Rujak Buah (Fruit Rojak) for lunch today and it was YUMMY!

4) To SMS to Singapore.. I need to affix the +65 in front of the numbers! Blur me forgot and was wondering why Mal did not reply!

5) Going to the gym is a stressful affair. As an avid OUTDOOR jogger, I had my experience on the treadmill yesterday.. and after 45 minutes when I stepped off the treadmill, I had a positively surreal experience. My legs went wobbly and I felt like I was floating. The gym is very well-equipped with ... hunks? eheheheh... More on this soon. Wait for it...

6) I heard horror stories about Jakarta from friends and reading forums on the Internet. Well, I am not going to be complacent... but I am becoming a security freak. Clasp my handbag tightly, always ensure that my windows and door is secure. Check and check and check... better to be safe than sorry.

Short post... I will do a descriptive narrative post entry tomorrow! And... try to post some pictures using my phone's camera!

Wait for it....

Just to let the entire world know...

I was so glad to talk to Mal and Mummy just now... They both sound so happy and were laughing. Good to know that my presence is not very sorely missed! Kidding... love the Tans loads!

I am here in Jakarta!

2007-01-04T18:37:00.000+08:00

Selamat Malam..
time check.. it is 5:38 pm in Jakarta!

Yes dear readers. I made it to Jakarta. The luggage, well.. I exceeded the baggage allowance by a cool 18kg and had to pay S$63 dollars. Well well... my belongings arrived with me in Jakarta, I was paranoid that they might be orphaned and I will be so lost without my pillow (yes, I decided to bring it along.. ahahaha). The only blooper was that my bottle of shampoo leaked a little and I now have the honour of the most wonderful smelling luggage around...

I have absolutely no idea how to start and what to say. It has been a sensory overload, and since my arrival yesterday afternoon, so many things have been happening (even now.. I am looking around the other users at the cybercafe... my 'neighbours')! I will try to summarise the most interesting and 'blogworthy' bits...

My apartment! I must say, I was fretting about the apartment for the past 2 months because despite the trawling on the Internet for information and placing my trust in the school's admin to locate and select a nice and safe abode, I was worried.

The condominium is NICE. Oh yes! I am living in a 2 bedroom newly furnished apartment! I am lucky to have all the major appliances provided for (they are all NEW in fact!) and I think I heard my own sigh of relief when I saw that the bed and mattress were still wrapped in plastic. The thought of sleeping on a used bed is plain... scary. With freshly painted walls and everything in order... my worst nightmare did not come true and I am in the midst of writing down a list of decorative furnishings to make the apartment home. Potpourri... mmmmm

I made two trips to Carrefour and I now have a functional kitchen and will be preparing my own dinner tonight (after I am done with this blog-post). This is all so exciting.. buying towels (hand, bath, sports, kitchen! I never knew towels were so diverse!), toiletries and little hooks and knick knacks. To my relief, my stereo system and hairdryer lugged across the vast oceans from Singapore are working fine here.

The plan tomorrow is a shopping trip to the mall to purchase bedsheets, a carpet and some pillows for the sofa... exciting! I am colour-co-ordinating! I have peach coloured curtains and a brown sofa.. so today I bought a brown doormat! I must be Martha Stewart's biggest fan in Jakarta!

I took a walk around my condominium before going to the cybercafe (here NOW!) to check out the facilities. There is a gym (tomorrow morning I will check out the equipment.. and exercise!), a pool, tennis courts, basketball court and a variety of shops and restaurants on the ground level. There are 6 towers of residence in the condominium and on the ground level there are 2 minimarts, 1 supermarket, a laundry, a few cafes, a Chinese restaurant (which sells Singaporean Chicken rice at Rp16 000.. hahahaa), a Japanese Bento restaurant, a high-end Indonesian restaurant, 2 normal-price Indonesian restaurant, a GAMING CENTRE (to my horror!!!! Lan games! Yucks.), a cybercafe (where I am at now.. it costs Rp 5000 an hour to use the Internet), a tour agency and I think that is about it. Oh.. and my favourite.. aside from the cybercafe is this cafe that sells desserts ONLY! I made a deal with myself and I will try a different dessert every week! Es Campur... Es Teler... and Bubor Hitam and .. and ..

I have been raving about the good things first.. here comes the bad...

Going to sleep was difficult last night.. I woke up at 6am (despite sleeping at 1am) feeling a bit strange... a new bed and a new place I suppose. I miss my family loads and loads! I called home and spoke to Mummy last night and she was glad that everything is fine with me... but I miss her terribly!!! But, Mummy is coming to visit in March with Mal (maybe Papa might come along if the business is not busy)! I absolutely can not wait!!!

Jakarta has a huge rich-poor divide (am I stating the obvious?). While sitting in the car, and looking out at the streets, I see slums. I am not oblivious, and hopefully I never will. Enough said. There is no point describing scenes of poverty as if there are displayed highlights.

The car drove past the school where I will be teaching last night and I will start teaching next Monday. Oh yes.. and I am excited!

More updates about my new job soon!

I finally bought a pre-paid SIM card, so yes.. I am connected.

That is it! For now...

Last blog entry from Singapre

2007-01-03T00:16:00.000+08:00

10 hours... and I will be on the plane to Jakarta.
My last blog entry. Location: Singapore

The excitement is threatening to spill out of my ears, yet, I am feeling just a little 'pensive'. It seems like everything is happening so fast that I can not really comprehend what is actually happening. The months of research, deciding, deliberating and finally making up my mind.

I am nervous about my new apartment, my new environment, my new job... the new people, the smell, the food... I keep telling myself that everything will work out fine because if I survived Japan, Indonesia will be no different. I am wrong, right? I am prepared for the initial culture shock (never undermine this potentially deadly disease), the compulsory course of diarrhoea that all fresh-off-the plane Indonesia newbies will experience, the stress of making the apartment a home and homesickness. The last being the most potent and the only one without any real antidote... suffer in silence. Hail pain.

Tomorrow... actually, it should be today. Gosh... not often that I render myself speechless.

The first hurdle of the year 2007: Saying goodbye to the Tans... especially the double Ms of Mummy and Mal.
The second hurdle of the year 2007: Pray tell how I am going to lug an almost bursting at the seams luggage, 2 fragile boxes of belongings, 1 filled to the brim sports bag and an oversized tote to Jakarta without making a fool of myself while struggling to balance and stay upright.

Till I blog again... with updates of the baggage 'situation'...

May the good Lord bless you with love, peace and joy...
Take good care...

p/s: I will survive.

Help

2007-01-02T13:40:00.000+08:00

Help.

1) If the airline stipulates that my baggage allowance (check in) is 30kg, does it matter if the 30kg is made up of 2 boxes, one luggage and one sports bag? Will I be taking up too much space?
2) But really... who is going to believe me when I say the above mentioned boxes, luggage and sports bag will just tip the scales at 30.0kg?
3) Contingency plan -- Look really sweet and plead for that bit more allowance. If that fails, try saying.. 'I am an educator, seeking to educate the minds of future generation... What is in the luggage and boxes? Books... notes... books... notes.' Oh yes, real smart Pollyana Cowgirl.
4) Do I really, really... really really really need my pillow? Ok, it is not just a pillow. It is an almost flattened cotton filled rectangular thing that serves to raise my head to a specific 10 degrees tilt (yes... I get specific when I am nearing hysteria) so that I can sleep. It really needs a bath, perhaps a makeover too. Question is, to bring or not to bring?
5) Why. Tell me why why why... Why is it that just as I am preparing to leave for J-Land... the modes of transportation in the country decide to well... disintegrate. Let me see, 3 ferries have sunk into the deep ocean bed... good for the growth of corals. A plane went missing and the wreckage found in some hinterland... good for boosting confidence in the country's national carrier. All in the span of a few days.
6) If the parents ever decide to read this blog... this is for both of you:
'Hello... hello... Mummy and Papa... and NO... for the last time, I really do not need a heavy padlock, tea bags, a huge bottle of cough mixture, 2 towels and that and this and that and this...'
7) I am not done packing. Help.

Pack!

2007-01-02T01:28:00.000+08:00

The rush continues. Darting from one errand to the other... ticking off the seemingly endless array of tasks on my list. It seems like I am almost done... I hugged and said goodbye to the people who matter and I cleared my shopping list of 'Things that I might not be able to find in J-land but NEED!' which is plain ridiculous, considering the list included a pack of pumpkin seeds. I deemed my seeds as being pivotal to my survival in J-land. These seeds, for all you ignorant people who know nothing about these magical seeds... they are roasted and not fried. Only available at this particular store in Takashimaya.

All I have to do now, is pack.

Heeding the incessant nags of dear Mummy to start packing before the day before my date of departure (get it?!), I finally got my act together and started to pack. I am meticulous and ridiculously organised when it comes to packing. Everything seemed to be going fine... I folded my clothes into neatly marked plastic bags and I even went as far as to pack my handbags into 'handbag' bags (there are bags for everything these days). I was starting to feel very self-assured about my packing abilities... Or so I thought.

The bags of bags of bags... are refusing to fit into my luggage.
I reckon... never say never! A bit of tugging and squeezing... they will somehow have to fit. So, I decided to be savvy about this packing debacle and weight my bags of bags of bags... afterall, an ill-fitting luggage is better than an overweight luggage (I am working with a 30kg limit by the way...). So, I am sure we can all guess what happened. I tried to hoist the luggage onto the weighing scale... but, it was too heavy for me to even tilt. I am in trouble.

I am less than 36 hours away from my departure and I still have stuff to pack. I am starting to worry. 'Panic' might be a more fitting description of my state of mind. I am running out of time! I am starting to look hysterical.

Wait for it ~~~

AAAAahhhhhhh!!!! heaghkgreadhgjhressyiuhkhkfjeaklkjpOUJ!!!!

Goodbye Presents

2006-12-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

Is my blog starting to sound like a major sob-story?

Hell YEAH!

It must the time of the day that I choose to blog. How jubilant can one get in the wee hours of the night with the sound of the pelting rain for company? So, I have decided to blog in the morning... wait for it...

HOLLA! And a very GOOD MORNING PEOPLE!!!

Wow... notice the difference?

Today marks the beginning of goodbyes. I have almost completed running my errands and will devote the next 5 days meeting up with family and friends, with the sole intention of reminding them that I am still very much alive... albeit being miles away. Promises to keep in touch must be kept... Updates will be much appreciated and hugs coupled with the 'take cares' will the order of the day.

Mal was the first to give me a goodbye present. A rather curious looking contraption that looks like a mini flipchart calendar at first glance... upon closer inspection... the words on the first chart read 'Survival Kit for Indonesia'. Oh boy... this is going to be fun!

The 'Survival Kit for Indonesia'. Mal, probably the only one in the world that genuinely enjoys my crappy sense of humour (vice versa) and who can positively predict what will definitely crack me up. She very conscientiously went through the photo albums in the house with the precision of a keen marksman. She was out to get photos of me looking my most ridiculous, silliest and most hysterical. She did not have to look too hard and the survival kit is a pure gem. Littered with 'quotable quotes' only we can understand, the survival kit contained our (yup, Mal included her own disasters which induced side-splitting contortions from me) fashion disasters over the years and our all-time-favourite jokes and jibes. Survival kit... Mal, I am wondering if the laughter is supposed to perk me up and help me survive, or are you trying to tell me that I need to sort out my style in order to survive? Thanks beebs. gees...

Titled 'Lydia`s CD' is compilation of hits and no misses from SIAO!. Siao! might not want to be publicly commended for her artful arrangement of songs in this compilation due to her humble nature. So Siao!, the misspelling and mis-punctuation of your name is intentional. Siao!, you make me go crazy! Siao! is a nutcracker who enjoys breaking out in song and dance when work threatens to overwhelm. Siao! has been a loyal companion during the school terms and a chill-out buddy during the school holidays. I will miss Siao! for her wacky sense of humour and I think Siao! will miss me.. because honestly, Siao!, you will have a hard time finding a fellow off-key balladeer, someone who can move with you to a groove and hopeless at catching balls. No-ball-games, shuttlecock included. Siao!

So in tribute to Siao! and our glowing glamorous moments at work... I have decided to list my favourite tracks from Siao!'s copyright infringement goodbye present of a CD.

1) Promiscuous Girl
2) London Bridge
3) Loosen Up My Buttons
4) Hips Don`t Lie

Another present with hidden innuendos? Siao!

See... I told you, it is the time of the day.

WOO!

I packed.

2006-12-28T00:18:00.000+08:00

I am feeling the same way all over again -Norah Jones

I packed today. Again.

Cleared my workstation, threw a pair of old shoes standing alone at the corner, packed my belongings into paperbags because two years of residence in a tiny space really does not warrant boxes.

I thought about Japan today. I felt as if I was retracing the same motions and the same myriad of the same feelings. It was not too long ago when I said goodbye to my grey table and a little apartment I called home for a year. The memories are vivid, I remembered calling my mother just before I made my way to the school on my last day. I told her between sobs that 'Mummy, i just can't.' How do I say goodbye?

I did not. I had to make a speech in Japanese to the entire school during their morning assembly. I practiced in front of the mirror and I was almost sure I could finish the speech, dry. I was a mess. I choked, I mumbled and then i cried. Japan was difficult for me. It was my first time away from home and adjusting was difficult. Living in a prefecture with sub-zero temperatures during the winter months did nothing to help halt my acceleration to the Land of the Living Dead. I wanted to go home.

Today, I packed and or 'but' it was different. No tears were shed, it was a calm and very collected departure. I carried my paperbags and walked, and walked. I was not walking away from a series of bad experiences, instead, I walked away with a strange sense of ease and peace. (Did I just ryhme?) The building was but a symbol of my professional attachment. Today, the building was quiet, it was not abuzz with activities, it was devoid of students or teachers or noise. So, how do I say goodbye?

I did not. I did not have to say goodbye.

The memories of teaching, of laughing, of frustration and of being with individuals whose company I genuinely enjoyed.... The friendships, the timeless corny jokes and the camaraderie when the going got tough...

Unpackable memories and experiences.

Twenty five individuals hit the bull's eye on Teacher's Day. They 'packed' my memories into a photo album with some empty pages left at the tailend of the album. They said it was for me to fill up with more photos and I have updated the album with photos from their farewell assembly... chalet... But, little do they know that I am deliberately leaving the remaining pages empty... as there are still memories waiting to be made.

I packed today, it was easy...
As there were no goodbyes...

It is going to be a matter of days before I step up to the starting line for the Amazing Adventure of 2007.
WOO!

Mal

2006-12-23T22:54:00.000+08:00

Mal`s 18th Birthday celebrations

Mal. That is the theme for today`s blog (psst.. I am trying to be succinct. Refer to Rule 1 ONE.).

As 3rd of January approaches, I have been plagued with the nagging fear that the hardest thing to do, is to hug and say goodbye to Mal. Mal, my sister, eight years younger and the dearest person in my heart. Funny how I was devastated when my mother casually informed me that she is going to have a baby. Funny how I burst into tears, sobbed in my room and thought how much I would detest this new addition. Funny how when I was all of eight years old, I thought that love is finite, limited in quantity and whose quality would depreciate if shared between increasing numbers. Mal, also known as Mei, B B and Beebs to me. (Full name: Malvina. She still thanks her lucky stars nightly ever since she found out that 'Lucillia' was the name I picked for her. My mother obviously has better taste in names than me.)

Growing up with Mal. Changing her diapers, singing her to sleep with my self-composed bedtime hit-songs and best of all, I had my own little doll to dress, cuddle and play with. Mal was a cute little button of a baby with a hairstyle that resembles a mushroom, a toothy grin that melts hearts and with a sensitive little soul, Mal was hard to not love.

The eight year age difference between us meant that I protected her and let her get away with loads of stuff. Payback time! Let me now announce that the 1cm scar on my thigh was a result of Mal BITING me when she was toothing. I suppose my thigh looked so yummy to her that she did not let go despite my WAILS (WAILS!!!!) and left the imprint of her 2 front teeth on my thigh forever. Let me also announce that the 2 cm burn-mark on my right hand was because I tried to fry an egg for her, the hot oil splashed and the rest is history. Okay, that scar is partly my fault... I really did not know that the oil was that hot and I fried it out of goodwill.

There are things I would do only with Mal. Dancing fantically to mambo hits in the privacy of either of our rooms... Pretending to be a diva at a concert and belting out ballads and waving to an imaginary audience... Going shopping (I usually shop alone) because Mal gives uncensored opinions and fashion advice... sharing my obsessive-compulsive habits and corny jokes, letting her into my private world of hopes, fears, doubts, dreams and deepest secrets. Funny how Mal has taken care of me. She probably does not know this, but Mal has kept me sane, hugged me when words had no meaning, laughed with me (and AT me) when life got too serious, prayed for me when things felt out of control and she saved me, literally, when I was in living Japan.

Mal just turned 18 and we commemorated it by having a wild night at Zouk. Mal thinks that she is now all grown up. Not too long ago, I promised her when she was just that little girl that I will bring her to Disneyland when I saved enough money. Our Disneyland dream came true in the summer of 2004 in Tokyo and I would never forget that magical day. Memories that feel strangely new.

Funny how things are now. Funny how I realised only recently that Mal taught me how to love unconditionally. Funny how Mal showed me how to not look at a person with my eyes but with my heart. Funny how Mal will always be so precious. Funny how I failed to see that 18 years ago, God gave me a Christmas present that was delivered 9 days early. And funny how that present is really my little guardian angel, Mal.

I love you Beebs. I will miss you most.

Purple dino.

2006-12-22T00:10:00.000+08:00

At my happiest.

A friend once told me that the easiest promise to break is the one that you make to yourself. My fellow joggerthoner, cheers to your 'original quote', it is in my long-term memory cache.

Ahem, I kept rules 1,2,3,4,6,8,9.

Broke rules 5,7. The photo broke the 'aesthetic check' rule. While 'Joggerthoner' broke spellecheck! Check Check!

Aww.

Hello J-land in 11 days! Woo.

Seduced and Deflowered.

2006-12-21T23:14:00.000+08:00

I give up. While the rest of the world is consumed with Christmas gifts buying, evicting the horrors of 2006 and making plans to welcome 2007 with style and panache, I am here, a virgin blogger. Figuring out HTML (hey! that`s *not* my language!), selecting a blogskin and being moderately oblivious to the surge in water levels during Singapore`s winter wetwonderland.

So, I guess I am trying very hard to sound witty, making a concerted effort to impress and convince all and dandy that yes I can write. Write. I can go on and on. In fact, this is MY BLOG. Despite previous reservations and indiscriminate rants about the act of blogging (refer to the theory of the 22nd century "Me, myself and I and I"), I have been seduced. Here I am.

To prevent myself from joining the deluge of bloggers who just blog, I have a set of rules and if you have read thus far, I trust you will be a regular visitor and this set of rules will set the stage for our impending relationship. Blogger and visitor.

1) I will refrain from writing essays. Blog entries will be entertaining, succinct and blog-worthy.
2) I will post silly pictures and photos.
3) I will not indulge in gossip.
4) I will not rant or rave or gush or turn my blogspace into mush.
5) I will spellcheck, grammar check, info check and aesthetic check my entries.
6) I will indulge in myself by posting lists of my favourite fruits, my favourite books, my favourite songs, my favourite places etc.
7) I will not use pseudonyms. Real people, real names.
8) I will update my blog.
9) I will use English, Singlish, Malay, Han Yu Pin Yin, Japanese, Teochew, Bahasa Indonesia *soon* (wonder why?) to write.

It is time for goodbye. Bye Singapore. Hello J-land in 12 days! Woo.

Disclaimer: Pollyana Cowgirl bears no responsibility for boredom and any negative consequence as a result of this blog. This blog is not meant for educational purposes. This blog serves as a source of updates to aid the blogger and her family & friends to keep in touch while she is in her new home for the next 2 years.