Pollyana Cowgirl

I packed.

I am feeling the same way all over again -Norah Jones

I packed today. Again.

Cleared my workstation, threw a pair of old shoes standing alone at the corner, packed my belongings into paperbags because two years of residence in a tiny space really does not warrant boxes.

I thought about Japan today. I felt as if I was retracing the same motions and the same myriad of the same feelings. It was not too long ago when I said goodbye to my grey table and a little apartment I called home for a year. The memories are vivid, I remembered calling my mother just before I made my way to the school on my last day. I told her between sobs that 'Mummy, i just can't.' How do I say goodbye?

I did not. I had to make a speech in Japanese to the entire school during their morning assembly. I practiced in front of the mirror and I was almost sure I could finish the speech, dry. I was a mess. I choked, I mumbled and then i cried. Japan was difficult for me. It was my first time away from home and adjusting was difficult. Living in a prefecture with sub-zero temperatures during the winter months did nothing to help halt my acceleration to the Land of the Living Dead. I wanted to go home.

Today, I packed and or 'but' it was different. No tears were shed, it was a calm and very collected departure. I carried my paperbags and walked, and walked. I was not walking away from a series of bad experiences, instead, I walked away with a strange sense of ease and peace. (Did I just ryhme?) The building was but a symbol of my professional attachment. Today, the building was quiet, it was not abuzz with activities, it was devoid of students or teachers or noise. So, how do I say goodbye?

I did not. I did not have to say goodbye.

The memories of teaching, of laughing, of frustration and of being with individuals whose company I genuinely enjoyed.... The friendships, the timeless corny jokes and the camaraderie when the going got tough...

Unpackable memories and experiences.

Twenty five individuals hit the bull's eye on Teacher's Day. They 'packed' my memories into a photo album with some empty pages left at the tailend of the album. They said it was for me to fill up with more photos and I have updated the album with photos from their farewell assembly... chalet... But, little do they know that I am deliberately leaving the remaining pages empty... as there are still memories waiting to be made.

I packed today, it was easy...
As there were no goodbyes...

It is going to be a matter of days before I step up to the starting line for the Amazing Adventure of 2007.
WOO!

posted by Poot @ 12:18 AM