Pollyana Cowgirl

Hello Big Sister

Its HELLO SINGAPORE!!!
I am finally back home to plenty of pampering, catch-ups, gorging of favourite food and shopping! It all seems rather fine and dandy, except for the fact that I now have to fill a pair of shoes I have neglected for the past 5 months, that is of, big sister.

Mummy and Papa call me a few times a week, and Mummy never fails to sms me everyday... so, I guess the only member of the family that requires a little more TLC now that I am back home is Mal, the younger one. Kor-kor... well... he must TLC me right?

So, what is up?
Mal has met a guy and they are currently in the getting to know each other better (GTKEOB) stage, except for a few sore points. Sore points for me... but apparently not for her.

First, the guy just broke up with his girlfriend of 8 months nary a month ago and is very resistant to talk about it.
Second, the guy made his advances (a bit of kiss-and-tell here) nary a month into this entire GTKEOB stage.
Third, he is rather mysterious. Has his moods and stuff.
Fourth, his favourite phrase must be 'let`s go with the flow'.

Now, let me qualify, the above 4 sore points are only sore for me. The younger one seems to relish the pain. Ugh.
I have not met this guy yet, so I am not privvy to pass any valued judgement, but. I am the elder sister, whose main purpose in life is to protect and well... I have been doing quite a good job so far. So, I did what I have to do... and I rendered my advice, F-O-C... gratis.

Some tips of the trade which I passed on to the younger one...

Ask about the ex-girlfriend. WHY NOT? Just go ahead. Especially if she was part of his life a measely month ago! I mean... if they are still in the process of handing each other's belongings and sending the odd SMS at the crack of dawn? Gurl... you ask whatever you need to ask to make YOU feel better and remove YOUR doubts. If the guy is resistant, snoop. Google her name. Friendster. My Space. Look at her, stare at her picture and get over it. Do not even think about how intimate they were or how it was. The point is to just get it out of your system. It works for me. You just need to immerse yourself in the ex moment, and you will be rid of the negative aura. The ex is not your enemy, remember that. You both have something in common if you like the same guy. Face it right on gurl!

Next. If you enjoy the kisses and hand-holding. Good for you! BUT... gurl. You will feel the shit if you realise a few days later that he happens to have a penchant for exchanging bodily fluids with a plethora of other gurls. If you can deal with it or if you are in the tribe that trades in saliva, good. Otherwise, ASK. You do not have to be in a relationship yet, instead if he is genuinely into you, he should have half an ounce of integrity to assure you that your tongue is the only one swirling in his mouth now. In this present moment. Remember, you are not asserting a needy need to be in an exclusive relationship, but, simply put... you do like him don`t you? He needs to know.

Mood swings. I don`t know about you. But, I steer way clear of the moody types. The ambiguous energy is too much for me. It is as if I`m dealing with a Sudoku puzzle whenever I am out with him. Does it add up? However, in this day and age.. whatever rocks your boat. Just remember, when you are PMSing and he is too... both of you are going to be in the red.

Go with the flow. Sure. Like the air around us?
Idiot. People are not molecules so quit talking as if we are. There is no such thing as going with the flow, because in the first place, the currents that position themselves to direct the flow is none other than... yes, the both of you. Be human. Acknowledge that there is still some doubt, some fear... but, the both of you are heading in a similar direction. Another dumb phrase is 'let's wait and see'. FOR? And 'let's take things as they come'. 'Let fate decide'. As in really? Fate?

Life is short. What a cliche, we all know that. Abide by it then!

Now, in case, you... the guy in question is reading this. In which case I seriously doubt you will unless you care about the younger one enough to read her sister`s blog (reverse psychology). I am no love guru. I have had many failed relationships. And I am not very good with guys to start with. But, this is the elder sister in me talking...

Treat her with respect. Like you would your mother or sister.
Put yourself in her shoes.
Taste her tears and feel the whimpering of her heart.
Listen, listen, listen.
And when you think you can start to like her and never desire to change her.
And when you think you can say NO to drugs (and all other temptations... synthetic or earthly with 2 lovely moulds of flesh in the front).
Send me an email... or a note.

I will be happy.

posted by Poot @ 7:13 PM