Pollyana Cowgirl

Slowly... it becomes clearer

Switched on my lap-top... checked my email...
and i did a double take.

Read the mail...
From a loved one whose dream is finally coming true. He sounds so excited about sharing the piece of fantastic news with me. I feel like I should give him a call immediately to congratulate him... but I feel a lump in my throat. I feel so guilty about not being able to smile and laugh and revel in his moment. I actually feel glad that I am miles away... lest I was closer by... it would have been so contrived on my part.

Oh gosh... I can not even type the words of my thoughts...

He is chasing a dream which I am not a part of. And don't I want to be part of it. I don't know.

.......


Slowly, it becomes clearer
You mean more to everyone than me
Opposites.

.......

Like a shadow, I will always be lurking
Waiting for a sign that says, 'Time`s Up'
Like a frequent customer, my business is always appreciated
But the door stays open, its dollar sense.

.......

I am in the background
Way way in the background
I hang on to the simple words uttered.
But I know... what I feel to you. I can't be anything really more.

.......

I can't even type a stanza. Syntax is all wrong, everything I try to say sounds so dreadful.

*******

Before I wallow in self misery about my own crappy life, an old old friend from across the Causeway just informed me that he is now attached. One of the nicest person with a heart of pure gold and cute as a button. Martin Marty Mart, it`s been 10 years since we first met... so, I hereby promise you HERE that as a decade long friend, I will sing at your wedding :p
You are welcome. Good that you are happy *smiles* Stay that way...

posted by Poot @ 11:09 PM