Pollyana Cowgirl

-Luke-

I have been updating my blog rather haphazardly the past couple of weeks as my sole intention is to bridge the geographical gap between friends and family members. Sometimes it seems almost strange how despite the distance and time spent apart, people can remain uncannily connected and never change.

Change is often deemed as a positive. In fact, perhaps the word itself has its own imposed connotations... and I often fall into the trap of rating it as such, but today I was reminded of how perhaps, change- or rather the lack of it- has been sadly undermined.

Luke and I have been friends since we were 13 years old but we only became close during our college years and the friendship has blossomed ever since. Sometimes I wonder what it is that has kept us together for almost 10 years...simple, plain old chemistry. Friends need chemistry too. The innate ability to read each other's minds, to finish our sentences, to give a look and know that it is understood, to be utterly frank and brutally honest. Luke has gone the distance with me. He has seen me through my phases and boyfriends, from clubbing to just rambling on the phone... he stuck with me as I traversed through Japan and Jakarta.

We met again today, it has been almost 6 months since we last saw each other. The moment our eyes met, we broke into peals of laughter and I knew I was in good hands. We bantered and updated each other about the most momentous events of the past months, and much sooner than I expected, he began to read my mind. And, I began to tell him stuff that I have been dying to share and which I have been keeping inside the crevices of my heart for months. It was like verbal diarrhoea, I mean an actual catharsis.

Luke listened, smiled knowingly and said things that my heart felt. He asked questions that I dare not think about because that meant I had to face up to reality. Today, I let it all out, and he took it all in.

I have always found it hard to make new friends. I am the type of person who has only a handful of treasured friends, and they are all I need for my lifetime. Indeed, the word friend is to me a word that has lost its meaning, like how love is now used nondescriptly.

Luke makes me realise how much I have changed because we still laugh about the hideous pair of blue track shoes I used to wear in college and many other fashion faux pas. He made me realise how I have not changed at all when he asked innocently 'Are you still clumsy? In front of your Prince?'. He knows. And he knows how to subtly reveal to me what I want but hesistate to say, what I fear but refuse to admit and what I love but am too scared to reveal.

You are in my eyes, so good looking, so cute, eloquent, articulate... a true fashionista and member of the cool club clan. You epitomise the modern man who is well travelled and well read, a true cultured diva who takes good care of himself. A friend who makes me laugh out loud, a confidante who dishes out advice for my world weary soul and a soulmate who truly understands.

Luke, for all the above... Its been almost a decade of bitching... why stop now?

For the Rastafarian top you made me buy, for the ridiculous outfit you convinced me to tog myself in when I made my first trip to Japan, for convincing me that I need to buy more bags and wear higher heels, for making me understand what is sexy and not, for giving me insights into the male's psyche, for asking about my family everything you see me... and finally... for having the courage to follow your heart and deride all that pompous societal values.

Luke, you are my man.
And I love you so much for you.

**I would like to state for the record that you promised me today that you will visit me in Jakarta and we will go wild and 'paint the town purple'. I will be waiting.**

posted by Poot @ 11:18 PM