Finally. This is the day.
I just went on the Lufthansa website....
Mummy and Mal will be flying today, this evening, in about 4 hours...
The flight is scheduled to be on time
They will be on the plane soon and I will see them at about 7:30pm Jakarta time.
I woke up today with a little bounce, a smile, my heart was beating a tad bit faster...
I have been smiling all day...
I am slightly nervous...
I have been planning their trip's itinery for the past week...
Just last night, Prince Charming, his posse and myself went scouting for a restaurant befitting The Queen herself. Yes... we found this restaurant. It is perfect, and it is to celebrate The Queen's birthday, though a tad bit early... who cares?
I am really dying of excitement. I want to go home, take my shower and wait for my driver to send me to the airport. There, I will be peeling my eyes open for the two most important ladies in my life. Whom I miss so dearly and am literally drooling to hold, hug and kiss.
This blog post is so random, I know.
My random thoughts... And now, I figure...
I am slightly incoherent.
What can I say?
Dear Lord,
please bless their trip... bless the flight...
and Mummy and Mal...
Thank you :)
When I see them... it will be more than love...
Blogskin
Blogskin: Work-In-Progress
Look out for a brand new look!
March Holiday Resolution: Number 1.
Under the weather
Ahh choo! Eh- hum!
*Limps*
Crap. The potent combination of Arabian smoke with my Oriental lungs is really starting to take its toll on my throat. Shisha with wine? Plus that pre-dinner bubur ayam, and that post dinner Saturday night indulgence of oven-baked-pita-chips-with-herb-butter. Sinful, but it was a Saturday!
The last week of term, almost synonymous with a cacophony of deadlines, last minute marking, scrambling for lost worksheets. Nothing that I cannot handle, but everything I rather not encounter. Countdown 4 days.
Friday. I think I will most certainly be on the verge of erupting with excitement the entire day. The touchdown.
Finally. I have been looking forward to the visit, the opportunity to catch up with all the happenings in the lives of Mummy, Mal and me. I have been racking my brains for the perfect holiday schedule for them. To cater to their shopping inclinations, beauty regimes and tastebuds will be a dizzying rendition of creativity and patience on my part. But, really, no one knows me like the two most important people in my life. And, really, I would even give up healthy food for them.
The next few days will be spent primming my little apartment, cleaning and doing a pre-holiday prep-trip to ensure that I will not get lost with them while bringing them around.
I wonder what Mummy and Mal will say about Jakarta. What will they say about how I live my life here. And, of course, the rather important question...
Honesty is Mummy's policy.
I can`t wait. I can`t wait. I can`t wait.
Woo!
Life and its perks
Singing...
I love to sing, alone.
I know I have a nasal soprano that does not sit easy on people's ears.
I belt out ra-ra girl power hits (Beyonce is the singer of choice) when I need to feel empowered, I indulge in my retro hits when cleaning up my apartment and I do the sappy ballads when life decides to take a break from handing out niceties.
Singing...
With someone. Rather, having someone sing for you.
Mal sings for me all the time. In fact, we belt out numbers like well-seasoned divas and sometimes Mummy has to almost tear down the doors to make us shut up.
He sang for me yesterday.
It was one of those hang loose moments where we sit and chat, waiting for the yawns to pervade the night, to signal the end of yet another day.
Then, he picked up his guitar, strummed, hummed and sang.
Perhaps I was just indulging in my own little moment where I lived the scenes from books and movies, where the protagonist sits in awe of the singing hero.
Intimacy.
That was what I felt.
It is so easy to fall for a singing paramour.
Sometimes a single word can capture the entire spectrum of feelings. Sometimes, it is a look. Sometimes, it is a gesture. Sometimes, you just have to follow your heart.
It has been a tough week for me emotionally. Trying to hold everything together while battling demons who were waving billboards of insecurity, fear, disappointment, doubt and anger. I tried to close my eyes to ignore the nagging nugget of knowledge that I was trying to excuse my heart from feeling what I clearly felt.
I survived. I guess I always will. There are too many things in life to learn, too many emotions that I still yearn to feel, too many people I want to continue to love and. . .
Thank You for this week.
Laughter and tears.
Disasters
The recent state of events that have plagued Indonesia made me rethink several misconceptions I had before arriving.
Truth be told, Jakarta city is certainly not as dangerous or dirty or polluted as non-visitors make it out to be. It has been close to 11 weeks since my initiation to this city and things have been turning out pretty well. The worst that has happened will probably come under the category of 'cussing'. Cursed by taxi-drivers. No biggie, I just feign ignorance. Why listen to things you don't want to listen to?
I digress.
The earthquake, the plane crashes, the mud slides, the flood and the deluge of sandcastles that will soon appear in the forgotten slums of Jakarta.
My students asked me, 'Miss, is this the end of the world?'.
Hell, no! Or, I hope not.
But, this is the thing. I find myself reacting half of a second slower than I would if these disasters happened back in Singapore.
Jakarta Post, Indonesia's leading English language paper coverage of the recent earthquake: 2 pages.
The Straits Times, Singapore's only English language paper detailed enhanced 24 colour photospread coverage of the recent earthquake: 8 pages
Uh-huh.
And then I say, perhaps after a few more months, I would probably stop my rapid fire change of conversation topics.
Shit
I am riled. Peeved. Soon I will start to feel a wayward sense of disappointment, then a shred of hurt, and to cap off the wonderful string of events, I might even breathe a huge sigh of relief that it happened sooner. Way way way sooner than expected. Better that this happens sooner then later.
Words are failing me at this point. I am drawing a blank. I want to describe, put into words, metaphors, analogies and even some well deserved swear words to elucidate how I am feeling.
If I could take a picture of my mind right now... It would be a mess of twirls, knots and edges. A snap shot of my heart will show a fingernail scratch.
I think this is going to be worse than a senseless blog post. This is going to be my very first post that would only mean something to me, and me alone.
I am rendered speechless. I have no idea how and why and what was going through the mind of one individual when he decided to disregard.
Congratulations, Cowgirl.
I need to take a long hot bath to rid my body of this disgusting smell of dread that is hanging around me. Literally, I am *ugh*.
Blogging space
My blog is suffering from fatigue.
I am wondering if my blog posts about my rather tepid life in Jakarta is getting boring.
I am wondering WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED to that picture of a tree on my page! It vanished. I will fix it soon... HTML whizz that I am.
The vaguely excitable 'event' that might ripple your bored dazed-out expressions while staring at my blog is... I was inflicted with, diarrhoea.
It started off on Saturday night when I had a dinner of hot-plate kang kung and some crackers. Yummy enough and hey! Its vegetables! Veggies do not make people sick! Or so I thought.
Tummy rumbled at 4am, signalling the start of my eruption. Half hourly visits to the toilet, nauseous and almost on the verge of stapling my anus shut, I managed to pop pill after pill of Lomotil to stop the flood. Successful.
I am one of those people who jog the day after recovering from a sprain. You might want to call it 'living on the edge'? I did promise Prince Charming to help him paint (not in an artistic role, but in a labour demanding role of splashing paint on styrofoams... one can not go wrong), and we trotted off to paint. I felt feverish and started to feel, really sick, and went home soon enough.
The thermometre read 38 degrees. Oh yes, I am sick. Alone and sick without the usual Mummy fussing all over me and without the dear PaPa taking me to the doctor. Falling sick, stinks. The aura of a day off from school did nothing for me as I had to get an MC from the doctor the next day, and I was certainly not up to any sort of travelling along the congested streets of Jakarta for a miserable slip of paper.
But of course, the Prince came to my rescue to amuse me with corny remarks and to kindly drive me to the clinic to obtain that piece of paper to certify that I am indeed sick.
'How is your shit?'
'Looking good..'
Two days later, and a few more visits to the toilet, I am now a-ok.
I am swearing off kang-kung for a while. The thought of getting sick all alone in Jakarta...
Scary.
Simplicity
Simplicity
Where agenda, innuendo and connotations exist not
Where people say what they feel and mean what they say
Where food ordered, looks like it does on the menu
Where labels do not come with disclaimers
Where the law of gravity never did hold true
that what goes up must come down
This world
Chills with the draft of nauseous air
Chokes with its stream of deceit
Where no one ever hears what is said
When what is said is fogged by what is felt
Simplicity stares at me.
A straight edged better half that was never meant to fit into jagged sided me
I will stop pondering
I will learn to agree to disagree
That when people say
"It will all work out in the end"
They forget that all it ever means is,
You simply get what you give.
